There is nothing like a little white lie. The one that gets you out of opening work at 4:30 a.m. or having dinner with the in-laws.
A lie is just a few words, use them.
Headaches and sinus issues are always seen as poor excuses, but when a girl pulls out the Mother Nature card, no one hassles a female Godzilla. But once you start having “the time of the month” three times in April, I’m sure someone will smell something fishy going on.
Don’t forget to improve your lying skills. Maybe even intern to become a professional liar with lawyers, politicians or those handy used car salesmen. They perfected the art, but I’m sure they understand how these things come naturally. According to Panic at the Disco, “lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off” and I think they got it right.
When it comes down to it, lies are in our nature. A good lie is in our daily agenda because it simplifies things and its downright fun.
Whether you say you’re “fine” when you’re really about to jump off a bridge or you tell someone you love them when they’re just a back-up plan, lies are just lies.
No one wants you to kill their day with depressing facts. Plaster on a fake smile, say things are good—never just fine, and you can cry in your car later.
Such simple things keep people from getting hurt. A good friend of mine always says, “I only lie when it’s easier to explain than the truth.”
Ah the truth, it’s such an interesting concept. I’m sure thousands of couples have broken up for speaking the truth. I’m sure even ten times that amount stay together because they avoid the truth.
The truth is a tricky fellow. He tells us her butt indeed looks fat in them jeans, but our head persuades us that a bootylicious behind is anything but bad.
Such an internal monologue plagues my mind set, but I often lie. I admit to vocalizing that I like an outfit when I really dislike it, and I admit to kissing someone when I really don’t like them.
Lies are not always a bad thing. It keeps the annoying people from bothering you, the jerks from hitting on you, and the best friend from asking you every five seconds if you are okay.
Sometimes you just need a good lie. Go down to the park and make up a story. Tell someone you’re brother and sister just because you look slightly alike.
Play the ethnic card and feed a stranger’s gullible personality. Maybe even try persuading your neighbor about the blind squirrel that hangs around the Sykes building. Test yourself now because you never know when you are going to have to pull one out on a whim.
Overall, lying is an ancient pastime. Our grandparents have been telling us about Santa Claus for years. How he climbs down our chimney, (or uses the front door for us southerners), eats our cookies, and leaves us wonderful presents that our parents actually purchased.
Of course all of this happens in one night and he watches us at all times. Apparently, Santa is a nosey man, and the tooth fairy tends to invade our space at night.
If we make silly faces, it’ll stick that way and if we tell someone they look good when they look less than good, they will hate us. When in doubt, dish out a good lie because after all, ignorance is bliss.
Narisa Imprasert can be reached at nimprasert@ut.edu.