When I heard for my visual literacy class that we’d be taking a field trip to a nudist colony I thought, “Awesome it’s going to be just like walking around the set of a porn movie!” and the thing is, I was right except it was a porn you wouldn’t want to watch. The day we went it happened to be raining all day (which could only make things better). The first thing I noticed which I thought was kind of strange, was a man walking around outside in a rain jacket with nothing on below that. I understand if you’re a nudist you don’t like wearing clothes, but that just seems a bit unnecessary. If you’re going to put on a jacket to keep from getting rained on, why not keep your lower half dry too? How does it make sense to just keep your upper body dry and let your lower half get wet? At that point you’re just trying to get attention.
After getting inside the colony, it seemed like the only people who were nude were the oldest creepiest men, and they all seemed very interested in what we were doing there. I guess for some reason, a group of college students taking a tour of a nudist colony seems to really excite old men (but not too excited, thank God.) But besides the unnatural amount of naked men grouped together to stare at college kids, after walking around the colony for a while you start to notice how people can be so comfortable being nude and living a life where they don’t spend so much time focusing on their personal appearance. People were sitting around a bar bottomless interacting the exact same as any other bar you would go to. Not only that, but nudists will do every other daily activity nude no matter what it is. We even took a tour of a weight room and learned people will go workout completely naked not even wearing shoes. First off, not only is that unnecessarily dangerous, but I can’t imagine two guys spotting each other while working out completely nude. Do you know how you spot someone on the bench press? You basically stand right over their head and help them pull the bar up while they struggle. The only positive side to a guy spotting you nude is that I imagine you’d be working that much harder just to finish your set and get another man’s nut sack away from your face immediately. Can you imagine a guy running on a treadmill? Nothing says a solid run better than the sound of a man’s genitals slapping against his thighs as he runs! (I’m sorry for putting that image in your head, but it had to be done to truly appreciate the situation.)
Besides the awkward event of working out in the gym nude, there are plenty of situations where being a nudist is a huge positive. For example, if you’re a nudist, the idea of a strip club becomes completely pointless! Why would you ever go somewhere to pay people to get naked, when every day you’re surrounded by hundreds of naked people?
“Oh wow, going to a strip club sounds awesome! Where else could I see naked girls? Oh yeah, everywhere I look every day of the year. F*** strip clubs!”
Or even better imagine a nudist taking a job as a stripper. It’d be like getting paid just to hang out on a stage every day.
Another situation where being a nudist would be a positive would be when going out on weekends trying to meet people. When people are flirting in a bar they may imagine the person they’re talking to naked and end up being disappointed later in the night in the event of that actually happening. If you’re a nudist you know right off the bat exactly how someone looks naked and if you’re physically attracted to them! That way there’s not disappointment or confusion later with not seeing what you expected.
Whether you’re interested in becoming a nudist or not, it’s a fun experience visiting a nudist colony and you can learn a lot. We were even given the option to go naked if we wanted to get the full feeling of what it’s like to be on a nudist colony. Of course nobody in the class took the tour naked, but that would’ve been pretty great if someone actually did. They’d forever be referred to as “that kid who took the tour naked.” I half thought about going naked kind of as a joke to myself, but of course I didn’t actually have the balls to do it (Zing!).
John Jacobs can be reached at jjacobs@ut.edu.
I’m doing a report on nudist colonies so it was cool to witness different perspectives over this somewhat controversial topic. John, I thought your article was quite comical and not necessarily bias, it was just your opinion! But I also agree with some of the comments and I actually quoted what Ryan said in my report about how Nudists can separate nudity from sexuality. So regardless of whether any of you have been to a nudist colony or apart of one, just understand that everyone has a different perspective. So thanks guys! This helped a lot!
I find no problem with this article, give the man a break. I laughed a lot, so thank you. I understand the reasoning of a nudist colony, but loved the take of an outsider looking in. The fact that you talked about what the gym must be like was a bit over the top, but props for taking on that heinous imagery. Commentary is always opinion based, its the author’s comment on an idea or situation, so it can’t really be wrong. The raincoat, Funny stuff.
“if one is to report on a visit to a nudist colony as news”
I don’t claim this to be news, and it’s not. It’s under the commentary section.
Commentary = making comments on a specific topic.
Not only is this a poorly written article for an academic journal, it kind of makes no sense. I f one is to report on a visit to a nudist colony as news, why would you add descriptions of men working out? We get it, they’re naked…no news here. Yes I understand it is meant to be ignorant and it is in a column section, but why write from a perspective of ignorance? It’s called research.
Usually i wouldn’t comment, but part of the humor is that i’m TRYING to write it from an ignorant perspective aka anybody who has no understanding of nudism and why people do it. Personally I DO understand life through their shoes (if wearing any… ZING!) but the ignorance is part of the humor.
I totally agree with Ryan…. u r putting u experience as a non nudist… u didn’t even try to be in their shoes. When u had an opportunity to go to a nudist colony u should have given a bias review but u were not able to do that….
Sorry man but ur article was useless
John, you missed the point of being a nudist. This article is written from the perspective of a non-nudist. Nudists separate nudity from sexuality, as the two need not be linked. For nudists, nudity isn’t about sex; it’s about removing the restrictions of Puritan culture. In the US, it is part of our culture to link the two, making it hard for people to realize that they need not be linked. The nudist sub-culture’s primary aim is to separate them. If you failed to realize this, which from your article it seems like you have, then you probably missed the whole point of the field trip.