Sex On Stage

Everyone who has had sex has a story about how they lost their virginity. Usually being an important moment, it is rare that one forgets their first time. Oftentimes losing one’s virginity is essentially a quick shot in the dark lasting a few short pumps and a few minutes of silence after completion. This private encounter is later recounted to close friends over drinks and college sleepovers.

Nineteen-year-old art student Clayton Pettet’s experience with virginity will be more unique: he plans to lose his virginity on stage.

According to The Daily Star, Pettett, a student at Central Saint Martins College of Arts and Design in London, plans to have gay sex for the first time–in front of an audience of 50 to 100 people on Jan. 25, 2014. In this art showcase titled “Art School Stole My Virginity,” Pettett and an anonymous partner will have sex until completion.

I hope this audience is ready for a long show.

Sex, especially gay sex, is difficult for the first time—and Pettett is going to discover this in front of a captive audience. It does not just happen. It does not “go in” easily, and it is not a smooth experience. Pettett has just invited a group of strangers to witness the most awkward encounter of his life. Speaking from personal experience, I fear that Pettett’s audience will suffer through the seemingly endless moments of  “are you okay?,” “go slower,” “stop! wait!,” “ouch” and “is it over yet?” Hopefully the theater sells refreshments so the audience can stock up on soda and popcorn because it’s going to be a long show.

When informed about Pettett’s plans for his art showcase, some UT students were shocked.

“Really, world? Really?” asked Djenee Dunn, a senior advertising major. “I still think that virginity is something that’s sacred that you shouldn’t want other people to see. I don’t think he’s going to go through with it. There’s no way.”

Pettett views his project as an examination of the societal view of virginity.

“Basically it’s like I’m losing the stigma around virginity,” Pettett told The Daily Star. “I want the audience to see if anything has changed between me and my partner. Since culturally we do hold quite a lot of value to the idea of virginity I have decided to use mine and the loss of it to create a piece that I think will stimulate interesting debate and questions regarding the subject.”

But what is the stigma around virginity? Have Millennials kept the idea of virginity sacred?

Junior advertising major Caitlin Olewinski considers herself to be old-fashioned.

“I feel like most people don’t care too much about their virginities, but it’s still something that matters to me,” Olewinski said. “I want my first time to be special. I wouldn’t throw it away.”

For our generation, it seems like virginity is now viewed as something that one sets out to lose rather than save for the right person. It is treated almost as a contagious plague, leaving those holding onto their virginities as social outcasts.

However, women are expected to hold either the innocence of a virgin or have the sexual experience of a call girl. It is not as common for women to be scolded for partaking in premarital sex, though slut shaming (the belittling of women based upon their perceived promiscuity) remains a reality.

According to The Daily Star, Pettett views virginity as a term used only to determine the premarital value of a woman. In his performance, Pettett aims to destroy the current concept of virginity and its “heteronormative” definition. As a result, he seeks to explore whether or not there is a moment of loss for men, as there supposedly is for women, when losing their virginity. Following this moment, men are expected to have sex again– and again, and again, and again– and their behavior is encouraged.

Slut shaming is a rare occasion for men. Rather, their sexual promiscuity is praised.

Sophomore allied health major Mike Santacroce recognizes the double standard.

“I think that on a personal level losing your virginity as a guy is a big deal because it’s like ‘I finally lost it,’ but in terms of society everyone just seems to think ‘oh, you didn’t lose it already?’” Santacroce said. “It’s definitely a double standard, because when a girl loses her virginity she’s judged while guys are praised for it.”

It is expected in this society that men should be “experienced” and give themselves to as many women as possible, while women are to give themselves to only one man. It doesn’t take a genius to recognize that this simply does not add up. Though unfair, men are encouraged to act fast and loose, and women are told to stay tight.

Because the loss of male virginity is commonly a rat race rather than a prolonged event, it is not unlikely that the event itself would be viewed as insignificant. The dirty details are spared. Instead, it only matters that the man is no longer a virgin without any regard to the partner, circumstance or other details. For men, an emotional attachment to their virginity is relatively uncommon compared to women. Their goals lie only in losing their virginity, intentionally removing themselves from the force responsible for their shame and finding themselves on the other side of the social circle.

This is why Pettett views the loss of male virginity as an “undetectable moment in time.”

Pettet explained to The Daily Star that men experience no physical change, and therefore any evidence of virginity simply is not real. In Pettett’s case, there is a lot more that he needs to worry about than a single moment of change. Although there is no breaking of the hymen in gay sex, there are a multitude of complications associated with gay sex. There is a lack of natural lubrication, and the human body must adapt to the act. The first time is always the worst—and that’s the time that Pettet has selected to share with a cluster of strangers.

The purpose of “Art School Stole My Virginity” furthers to ask the overarching question:  Does virginity actually exist? Sure, there is proof in women that at one point the hymen is broken—but the hymen doesn’t have to be broken during sex. If a woman breaks her hymen from, say, masturbating before ever having sex, she has not lost her virginity by society’s definition. There remains no physical evidence of her so-called “innocence” but as never having had intercourse, she can be defined as nothing other than a virgin. Rather, she is viewed instead as “impure.” She has experienced sexuality but never at the hands of another individual, so she is then the modern man’s ideal woman. Either way, she is the same individual, and the presence (or lack thereof) of her virginity does not change who she is as a person.

After the loss of Pettet’s idea of virginity, the performance will end with a question and answer session with the audience to discuss whether or not there have been any changes in himself, his relationship or the perception of his life altogether. The panel is designed to allow a group of strangers to realize, together, that virginity is only an idea. Pettet must have a high tolerance for shame.

After losing my virginity, I don’t think I would have been able to immediately answer questions to strangers—especially not if I knew that they had all seen every detail of that encounter and then some, such as my facial expressions. Rather, I’d have to ask the audience questions so I could improve my game for the next time around. In all seriousness, though, there is no way I could face an audience after that. I would much sooner run off of the stage and hide.

Overall, I think that Pettet is making a mistake. The subject of virginity could much more easily be discussed to find resolution rather than having to share such a personal moment in a public setting, which will then travel throughout national news headlines, the Internet and its countless blogs until he has lost any sense of privacy. This is a project that might seem like a good idea at first, but when all is said and done, Pettet is probably going to regret it.