Beating The Green-eyed Monster Can Prevent Future Issues

So you’ve finally found that “perfect” guy or girl that you’ve always been waiting for. You start dating and nothing could be better.

You see him or her and you automatically feel happy. You’re always smiling and you feel as if your stomach is on a roller coaster ride.
New love. That’s what it is. Everything about it brightens up your mood. You sometimes catch yourself doing things that you’d thought you’d never do.

This new person has turned your life upside-down, but in a good way.
Soon things take an ugly turn. The ‘honeymoon phase” is over and now “true colors” are starting to show.

Over time, you realize the little or big things that your significant other does that irritates you. These annoyances tend to sit and fester until they cause arguments.
It can be “I hate how you play video games with your friends more than you talk to me,” or “I hate the way you complain about things that really aren’t a big deal” or “I hate that you get so jealous,” for example.

Jealousy tends to be one of the biggest downfalls in a relationship. This is where the “wandering eye” comes into play.

For those who are not familiar, when someone has a wandering eye, it means that, although they are in a relationship, they tend to be attracted to other people and may even give them more attention than the person they are with.

Someone with a wandering eye is not necessarily cheating, but they certainly are looking.

To some, looking at or being attracted to others while in a relationship is just as bad as cheating, while others do not feel that it is a big deal because they know that their significant other wants to be with them. They feel as if it is normal and okay to look at or be attracted to other people because it is human instinct.

If they were to act upon their attraction, that would be another story.

This argument of whether it is or is not okay to look will always have opposing views and, regardless, feelings of jealousy can arise.
If handled properly and in a timely fashion, these issues can be fixed. But if not, they can eat away at the relationship, causing each person to want their own space.

This “breathing period” can either make or break the relationship. The two involved will either realize they need each other and that these petty problems are nothing to stress over or they will see that it may be better for them to be apart.

A trend I seem to be noticing is that lots of couples take a “break.” Now, the boundaries of this break are sometimes very broad.

A lot of times when people in this situation are asked what their relationship status is, they say “we‘re together, but not together.”
That can seem confusing to the people involved, as well as to outside parties. The question of “What can or can’t I do?” comes into play and can ultimately put a bigger strain on the semi-existent relationship.

“I think guys take advantage of the time that they spend without a girlfriend. I remember when me and my ex boyfriend were on a break after I accused him of flirting with other girls. I didn’t do anything with any other guys. I really took our time apart and spent it with my friends so I could just clear my head. He didn’t. He went out and got that girl’s number and I heard that he even kissed her. I was pissed, and just decided not to even get back with him” stated junior Angelic Hernandez.

“When a girl says ‘we need a break’ I never really know what that means. I take it as we are broken up for the moment and may or may not get back together, but we are still broken up. In my head I’m single. And since I’m single, I can do whatever I want with whoever I want.

I just think it’s funny how when girls initiate the break, then found out what the guy has been doing, they get upset. It’s ridiculous, because none of it ever would have happened if she didn’t want a break in the first place” said freshman Jacob Rhoden.

There are so many factors as to why a relationship may end. There are a bunch of little things that lead up to one big thing that can push the relationship’s strain to its maximum level and cause it to fail. In this case, the chain reaction starts with the wandering eye, which leads to jealousy, which then turns everything into an argument and that makes the couple want to take a break from each other and that break can lead to a permanent break-up.

Fix any small issues in your relationship before they turn into bigger ones. The smallest things can set off the biggest chain reactions.

Good luck loving!

Dominique Barchus can be reached at dominique.barchus@spartans.ut.edu.