The state of California passed a law on Sept. 29 clarifying that the only consent for sex is a clear and verbal “yes.” This is to say that past excuses of victims being silent, unconscious, or drunk will no longer have any effectiveness. California is the first state to implement this policy and hopefully the others will catch on.
The “Yes Means Yes” law states that ongoing “affirmative consent” must be given during any sexual activity, according to npr.org. Everyone involved in sexual activity now legally has the responsibility to make sure that their partner is still consenting to what’s going on.
If any party is incapacitated due to drugs or alcohol, unconscious, or unable to communicate due to a mental disorder, don’t have sex with them. Silence and/or lack of protest are not consent. Also, consent can be revoked at any time, meaning that if your partner is ok with oral sex but not with intercourse, it’s important to comply with these wishes. Basically, just check in with your partner and see if they’re cool with what’s happening.
Colleges in California are required by this law to use these standards when dealing with rape cases. Colleges are also required to have a comprehensive prevention program including, but not limited to, prevention strategies, outreach programs and risk reduction; all of which will be taught at new student orientations.
Now before freaking out about new rules, realize that all that really needs to happen is some simple communication with your partner. Even the catch phrase, “Yes means yes,” puts sex in a much more positive light than the original, “no means no,” which is negative and ambiguous.
Sex should be fun and enjoyable for all parties involved. Consent is just as sexy as sex itself– you can’t have one without the other. Ask them if they like what you’re doing or if there’s anything they’d like to try. Asking for consent can even double as talking dirty. A simple and sexy “Do you like that?” will work. Questions like, “I’m really into __, would you like to try?” and “It’s hot when you do __, what do you think is hot?” count as asking for consent as well. The artist, The Weeknd does consent right by asking, “Do you like the way I flick my tongue or nah?” If the answer is, “or nah,” agree on something better to do instead, or stop completely.
It’s also exciting to know that California college campuses are being required to provide comprehensive prevention programs and resources for victims. It’s important to know how to protect yourself and others. It’s also great that the law has something written in it about enforcement and making sure that the people affected know what the law means by requiring orientation programs about it.
One could argue that the law has flaws, like being too ambiguous for example. Creed Smith, a sophomore film major said, “Yes doesn’t always mean yes. If she’s drunk she may say yes because a guy is forceful.” He makes a good point. The tagline for the law is open to some misinterpretation. However, the law states that being too drunk is not consenting to sex. The law also states that the individual can still be accused if they’re being reckless or don’t take reasonable steps to be sure that the other party is consensual. Being forceful is not a reasonable step.
Another issue is that people may not always want to be asking their partner what they want throughout sex, begging questions about body language. However, if she seems to like it, it shouldn’t be a problem to ask her if she likes it. And generally speaking, if she’s screaming “Yes,” you’re probably doing something right.
California is incorporating this new, “yes means yes” law into college campuses. Being drunk, drugged, silent, or otherwise incapacitated does not qualify as consent. The only way that consent can be given is with a clear and verbal “yes.”
Liv Reeb can be reached at olivia.reeb@spartans.ut.edu