The more I go on Facebook, the more I realize how badly I want to delete mine. Every time I log in, I become overwhelmed with the urge to write “SHUT UP” on someone’s status. I feel like with any social media site, there is a list of “Do’s and Don’ts”. I think there are at least seven deadly sins of Facebook that tie into the “Don’ts” that are so often seen.
The first sin is posting statuses like you’re on Twitter. Facebook and Twitter are two separate entities for a reason. Twitter is where you go to update everyone on what you’re doing or thinking every two seconds, not Facebook. It’s annoying to log in and see the same person in your newsfeed over and over again, and then see that they aren’t saying anything worth reading.
This just means that either you spend way too much time on online or your life is really that boring. Either way, you look like you have nothing else better to do with your time. Get a hobby (but don’t make a bunch of statuses about that either).
The second most sinful action is being what I like to call a “Photo-whore”. This can mean one of two things: a person who takes too many pictures of themselves and practically has a new picture as their default every day, or they take pictures that show off more of their body parts than their actual face. Regardless of which definition used, they are begging for attention and may also have a self-esteem issue.
Let’s be honest, how different can you really look in all your pictures? If you haven’t gone through a drastic physical change, dyed or cut your hair or have had the same picture for an obnoxiously long amount of time and people are begging you to get a new one, there is no reason to have over 100 profile pictures sitting on your page. Delete some or get rid of your camera.
Next, ladies, do not make a fake Facebook to spy on your boyfriend, or on anyone else for that matter. Honestly, if you really feel like your guy is cheating, then he probably is (this can also go for guys concerned about their girlfriends), so just dump him. Stop wasting your time trying to be another person on Facebook in order to catch him.
Creating a fake account is a waste of time and energy that could be used to find someone else that will actually treat you right. Also, you’ll look stupid if he figures out that it’s you.
After that, he’ll dump you first and then get a new girlfriend, probably the girl he was talking to in the first place.
If you do choose to go down this path and make the fake profile, you’ll probably commit the next thing on the list of Facebook offenses.
You’ll request or have someone else request your ex’s apparent new love interest. Some people just don’t realize that this isn’t going to help them get over someone, it just shows how jealous you are (regardless if you are more attractive than this new person).
Save yourself the heartache and headache of seeing them together and just move on and learn not to be so nosey. It gets you nowhere.
Now, one of the most annoying things someone can do on Facebook is change their relationship status every time they have a fight with the person they are dating. If your relationship is that dysfunctional, then maybe you should break-up for real or at least not broadcast it to the world. Then you wonder why people “like” your relationship status when it says you are no longer together.
Note to self: when it is official, then make it Facebook official, whether it’s breaking up or getting together. Also, to those people begging for someone to “marry” them on Facebook: you’re screaming for attention and it’s unnecessary. You’re just as bad as the dysfunctional couple. “Marrying” a different person every week doesn’t exactly make you seem date-able.
More advice: don’t be “that guy”. When I say that guy, I mean that person who posts embarrassing or inappropriate pictures of someone else without permission. This doesn’t mean ask them first and if they say no, do it anyway.
There are people out there who actually care about how they come off to other people and have self respect (shocker). Being “that guy” may get a few “likes” on a picture, but you could lose a friend in the process. If it seems like a bad idea, then it probably is.
Now, the ultimate Facebook sin is leaving your page open around other people. Your status will be changed to something inappropriate or disgusting. If you don’t want your status mentioning anything about your epiphany involving your newly found sexual orientation or your bathroom habits, I would advise you to log out before you walk away. Please, for your own sake and everyone else potentially stalking you online, have some kind of online etiquette or people will delete you. You never know, they might have already.
Dominique Barchus can be reached at dominque.barchus@spartans.ut.edu
