Respect The ‘Bromance’ to Create Balance in Relationships

One of the most important things people need to have in life is a good networking system: one that consists of coworkers, acquaintances, but, most importantly, your friends.
Your friends are the people that you go to for advice and who you share good times with. They’ve been there for you through the good, the bad and the ugly. They are the ones that tend to be the closest to you.

Men and women both have this tight-knit network of friends.

In general, pastimes and discussions within these groups tend to be the same. They take part in activities they both enjoy, they go out to the same places together and they discuss topics ranging from sex and relationships, to just plain gossip.

Looking at these friendships broadly, it is easy to see the similarities, but when you actually break down these general topics and get more specific, true differences in male and female relationships are seen.
Normally when people think about the friendships that females have, everything gets pointed to emotions. “Women are so emotional.” I hear that all the time.

Many males tend to think that all women do is sit around watching chick flicks while “eating their feelings,” talking about their problems and how much they hate men, while at the same time, wishing they were in a relationship.

Although this can be true, there is more substance to most female relationships. When women form these tight alliances, they don’t just see themselves as close friends, they sometimes see themselves as sisters. They will fight and argue with one another, but at the end of the day they will fight for their sister.

Men, whether they want to admit it or not, have a similar relationship and brotherhood. No matter how many dirty jokes go around, foul odors fill the room and video game systems they have to occupy their time, men talk about their emotions and have their bonding time as well.

The only difference is that men get a name for their close friendships with other males: “bromance.” As defined by Urban Dictionary,  a bromance is “a non-sexual relationship between two men that are unusually close.”
“I have two ‘bromances.’ I cheat on them from time to time. They just don’t know,” stated Dylan Palamittam.

Tariq Mackey said, “Male bonding, it’s real. 2:30 a.m. boxer time and video games.” Christian Perry said,
“He drops beats, I drop frees and together we make music. No homo. I really a have a mixtape.”

In my opinion, having a bromance is okay, but sometimes I question the quality of these relationships.

It seems as though “no homo” is a very popular phrase within the bromance world. This term is used to rule out any sexual meaning. For example, a guy will say “I love you, man. No homo.” Adding “no homo” to the end of that statement helps to make it clear that the guy loves his friend but in a non-sexual way.

My issue with this “no homo epidemic” being used in the world of bromances is that it is unnecessary to use after everything you state. For the most part, guys, it is understood that you don’t want to have sex with another guy when you say “F— you” to them, that you don’t want them to really kiss your butt or want them anywhere near your “family jewels.”

So, lets try to be mindful of the constant usage of “no homo” and sexual comments that can be taken for exactly what they are. Aside from the questionable parts of a bromance, they are very much needed.
Guys get to relax in their own environment with other people that understand them and, let’s face it, ladies, they need a break from us, just like we need our girl’s nights away from them.

That’s why these social groups are so important. They keep us sane. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen women get all worked up because guys rather go out with their boys in comparison to hanging out with their female counterpart all night.Lets be honest, with relationships and other life stresses, it is important to have a release. For females this may be a day of pampering, shopping and a night on the town with your girls.

For guys this might be video games, beer and sports with the boys. It’s important to have a balance, especially when it comes to a bromance.

Nothing is worse than having a girlfriend feel like she is number two, just because she doesn’t want to swap dirty jokes or play video games. It’s just as bad to have a boyfriend feel the same just because he doesn’t want to swap emotional stories and have spa days. Establish a balance and respect the bromance.

Good luck loving! (No homo.)

Dominique C. Barchus can be reached at dominique.barchus@spartans.ut.edu.