Watching Relationships Disintergrate Without Strong Foundations

“I’m sorry. Forgive me?”
“Okay, I forgive you, but don’t do it again.”

These types of  conversations can be seen within any kind of relationship — between friends, personal relationships or in business.
But how far can an “I’m sorry” get you until it doesn’t hold its meaning anymore?

Why is it that couples seem to fight and hold grudges even after an apology is given?
People instill a great amount of trust in the person they are dating, in a relationship with or married to, and they expect that certain lines will not be crossed.

Unfortunately, once those lines are crossed and apologies and forgiveness are exchanged, that incident is still never forgotten.
Thus, as time goes on it becomes harder and harder to trust that person.

Just because someone forgives you for doing something, it doesn’t mean that they will keep forgiving you when you mess up and forget what has happened.
It is really important to watch the things you say and do when you’re in a relationship.

It’s easy to forget about the other person’s feelings and that’s where the biggest issue lies. Having someone’s trust is a privilege.
When someone trusts you and you abuse that trust, you can expect that they might not trust you in the future.

I’m not saying that the other person in this relationship is excused if he or she throws something in your face (so to speak) sometimes, but I am saying don’t be surprised if the next time you mess up it’s hard for them to take some things you say at face value.

They may come to question the things that you do and it is up to you to really put in that extra effort to show that you have changed, or at least are trying to change.
Trust and honesty are probably the biggest components of a relationship, and they need to be taken seriously.

Once trust and honesty in a relationship decrease, the relationship begins to deteriorate.
It is easy to notice when the important aspects of a relationship are lacking. Arguments will occur more often and over almost anything.

Any stimulating conversation becomes harder as each party becomes less interested in speaking to the other. People begin wanting to keep themselves busy doing other things with other people.
After that, the matter of ending the relationship is eminent.

Questions arise as to the level of compassion and companionship in the relationship.
Don’t stay where you are not happy. If the relationship you have with your significant other is going downhill and you feel like it isn’t going to get any better, it may be better to just end it.

Of course it will be hard, because your heart will ache for their comfort, but it is better to take the first step in the healing process and break-up than stay in an unhappy situation.
On the other hand, if both parties are really willing to step up and make an effort to give their relationship a 180-degree turn, then go for it.

Relationships are not always easy and sometimes they really need work, but it is important to make sure that the foundations of relationships (i.e., trust and honesty) are strong.

Dominique C. Barchus can be reached at dominique.barchus@spartans.ut.edu.