Society Demands Couples Should Be Desensitized To Wandering Eyes

“Are you serious right now? I am sitting right next to you!” I said, my shock quickly turning into outrage.

Only seconds earlier, I looked out the car window to see a prime example of state school party girls, the type that typically fill in the background on the TV show Campus Police. It could hardly be called spring, but the second the temperature went over 80 degrees, these lovely ladies shed their dorm-tattered sweatpants in exchange for bikinis.

Well, if you could call it a whole bikini. These girls in particular sported fashions made of numerous strings and minimal cloth.
The waistline of their denim daisy-dukes were rolled down not once, but twice, while the length didn’t leave much of their “lady parts” to the imagination.

And their shirts  — oh, wait, they weren’t wearing any.
At first, I thought I was mistaken. I mean, come on, ladies, this is a crowded (and mildly sketchy) downtown street. And you are naked.

But these thoughts were hastily interrupted by my realization that the car was slowing down.
I turned to see the driver — my boyfriend at the time — hunched over the wheel, trying to get a better look at his “surroundings,” even though they didn’t require much of a look. It was all on display.

That’s when my voice began to rise.

“Baby …,” he cooed, trying to kiss my mouth out of its angry state. But I scooted toward the window and started replaying numerous similar incidents in my head.

Oh, yes, “typical jealous girlfriend,” that’s me. The girls that enamored him when we were together never looked like me. They were always taller,  thinner or more exotic. I tried to remain indifferent. I longed to be one of those girls who could be content with a “you can look, but you can’t touch” mentality. And for a while, I was.

But it wasn’t long before I was comparing myself to the girls he looked at the way he did. “She has better this, more of that, less of this,” and so on, I thought.
The confident woman that loved to strut around in her sweats, the girl he fell in love with, the one I used to be — she began to disappear.

As my lack of confidence came up more in our arguments, so did my tendency to blame him for making me that way, and we soon fell apart.
This cycle isn’t new. Whether we realize it or not, when we commit ourselves to someone, we give them a lot of power.

No one should want to make their significant other feel like crap. And if they do, there is a serious problem.

Guys are not the only ones guilty of doing it. Regardless of the “indestructible” front most men wear, a girlfriend’s comment can go a long way, whether she realizes it or not.

“It’s one of those issues where no matter how easygoing of a partner you are, it can really get annoying,” said freshman, Shane Messmer about these kinds of comparisons.  But we all do it. We gossip and swoon over the buff boy downstairs and talk about movie stars with a bit too much excitement.

Admittedly, my own Facebook status a few days ago was “Jake Gyllenhaal can do whatever he wants to me.”

Everyone has that person, the forever unreachable, extremely desirable object of fantasy. But something changed in recent years that makes it seem like women should be okay with listening to their boyfriend talk about the real reason he wants to see Transformers. Or that men should sit next to their girlfriend as she squeals about Taylor Lautner.  I am fully aware that I don’t “smolder” the way that Kim Kardashian, Dianna Argon or Taylor Swift do. I know that my date can’t control his thoughts and, hell, given the chance, I would totally get it on with Megan Fox.

But I don’t need to hear my boyfriend panting, let alone talking about the girl on the screen or the girl sitting in front of us when I spent an extra ten minutes doing my hair the way he likes it.

“I think that it is acceptable for a partner to glance; that is natural. But as far as looking, I don’t think there is any need in a healthy relationship,” said Christan Reich.
“In the age of reality TV and stereotypical relationships, society may say that wandering eyes are okay, but as far as I am concerned, they are not.”

Sure, there is something healthy about a relationship that has everything out in the open and is accepting about these kinds of things. It just shouldn’t become so much of an issue that it effects the affection that two people have for each other.

“It’s okay to an extent,” said freshman Bryanna Payne. “But if he’s almost ‘motor-boating’ some girl because he is looking so close….That’s uncalled for.”
Bryanna is talking about boundaries, which could very have something to do with “excessive wandering-eye syndrome.”

Use some control, ladies and gents. Have a look around (and by that I mean a very quick glance) every now and then, but don’t let your significant other forget the reason why they hold that place in your life.
You don’t want “looking” to become the only thing you do.

Hannah Webster can be reached at hannahkarine31@gmail.com.