The Making of a Good Lover Can Never be Judged by Experience

Let’s all think back to a time when everyone happened to be a great sex partner.
Sigh. Great memories, right?
Oh, wait, there has never been a time when everyone has been or has had a great sex partner.

Let’s be fair though, sometimes you do get those guys or girls who are just natural pleasure givers — lucky you — other times you’ll stumble upon the person who wasn’t the best lover in the sack, but has gotten a lot of practice and is now, for a choice of better words, adequate. But let’s not forget the ones that are just completely inexperienced and pretty much don’t know their own parts from their partner’s.
This raises the question: would you prefer someone who is experienced and possibly have the best night of your life or someone inexperienced, but able to be molded into the lover you want them to be?

Seems like this answer would be easy, but it’s actually not. Insecurities pop up whenever sex is involved. What if the person you’re with has had more sex partners than you? You may feel as if you don’t measure up to the people they’ve been with in the past (in more ways than one, if you‘re a guy). On the other hand, what if your partner has less experience than you do? This can turn the night that you thought would be full of fireworks into a night that might have been better spent had you done the job yourself.
Freshman Isabella said in response,
“I’d rather have a guy that’s experienced, this way if I didn’t know what I was doing, at least he does. I just don’t want it to suck.”

Many girls seem to agree, but junior Jaymee had a different take on this question. She said,
“I don’t care too much if they are experienced or not. I’ll take control.” The guys, on the other hand, had varying responses.

Ryan Dember kept it short and sweet,
“No virgins. End of story.” Conversely, Thomas Gentil and Mike Moretti seemed to be on the same page. Moretti said,
“It doesn’t really matter to me, but virgins are fun.” Gentil’s response, though, was,
“Experienced is fine, but I kind of like how virgins are naive.” With these glorious “for” and “against” virgin comments, there were two guys who actually seemed not to care. Kyle Kinch explained,
“It doesn’t matter to me, I’m not picky. I have love for everyone.”

Along with him there was another guy who cared more about the time the female was going to have and that was Christian Perry. He said,
“Experience doesn’t matter to me, the girl is going to be blown away regardless.” As you can see, there is a bit of a stigma that comes with being a virgin. Many people believe that virgins aren’t going to make good lovers,

regardless if the virgin is a male or female.
Let’s look at this another way: not everyone that has had sex is “good” at it. Also, everyone started out as a virgin.
No one came out of the womb knowing how to have sex. Just to be clear, coming out of a vagina does not in any way, shape or form count as a sexual experience. It took time, experience and someone willingness for them to have sex when they were virgins.

How good or bad your sex partner is has a lot to do with the chemistry that exists between the two of you. Don’t get me wrong, the skill factor does play a role, but that is not the most important thing. If it was, then there still wouldn’t be people that wait until they are married to have sex for the first time. Now, I know there are people out there that say, “I know I’m a good sex partner, I’ve been told.” You may be right — maybe you are — but that really doesn’t entitle you to anything. It could be a good or bad thing for you. It may be a better idea to keep that information to yourself and let your next sexual encounter be impressed by the fact that you know your way around the bedroom. Lesson for today: life is a learning experience, so take the good with the bad and just learn from it all.
Good luck loving!

Dominique Barchus can be reached at dominique.barchus@spartans.ut.edu.