With gambling addictions affecting a large percentage of college students, it can be hard to not fall victim to the Seminole Hard Rock Casino located only six miles from our campus. However, there are ways to have a fun time and gamble without becoming addicted by following some tips and always remembering just to have a good time.
First, the easiest way to avoid getting addicted is to simply watch any of the hundreds of old people playing slot machines and see that as your potential future. Imagine being that age spending hours at a time staring at a screen hoping to win that “huge jackpot of $20” and chain smoking for days at a time.
Imagine your grandson at home: “Is grandpa going to come to church with us today?”
“Well he was going to but apparently the Lucky 6’s machine is ‘hot as hell right now’ and he’s already up $6 on the hour. Maybe next week!”
If the idea of that becoming your life doesn’t deter you then, hey, maybe you’re just meant to win big time and you should follow your gambling dream (nightmare).
Once you begin gambling, if you lose money (but you’re not going to) you can’t let that affect your mood or set you off. It’s important to stay positive by rationalizing that loss of money. For example, there have been times I’ll lose some money but think, “Hey I may have lost $10 tonight, but that’s money I would have spent on cover at a club.” See it evens itself out!
Or, “I may have lost $100 tonight, but I can just eat McDonald’s every night this month to make it up!” (And that seems more like a reward than a punishment!)
Or for those really rough nights, “I’m down $2,000 but at least I still have my hands…for now. (I wonder how much I could sell one for.)”
The main point is not to let your losses bring you down. Remember, you can just stand by the most expensive blackjack table and watch people lose your tuition in a matter of minutes. That way you’ll always be able to leave thinking, “at least I’m not that guy” (until eventually you become ‘that guy’ then you’re screwed).
Next, remember when you’re at the casino you should be having fun! Even though you’re playing for money, that doesn’t mean it should be stressful and serious all the time. For example, I’ve found it fun while playing Poker, just start filling your conversation with random poker terms as if you’re trying to blatantly cheat with your friend, and remember to use huge emphasis on the terms when saying them. You can turn it into a game and see how far you can go without getting kicked out.
“Hey bro, look at those THREE QUEENS over there, talk about THREE OF A KIND.” (Then wink and nod to your friend)
“I don’t know man; I think they could be STRAIGHT.”
Or, “Hey after we leave I know of these FIVE CLUBS we should go by tonight. I would say you could spend the night after that but I have a FULL HOUSE.”
Or if you just want to win the game, you can go old school and just cough loudly and shout your cards out at the same time. “Jacks! *cough* I’m sorry I must have a cold or something.” Then make eye contact with your friend and mouth the words “I have jacks” clearly and openly in front of the whole table. You’ll probably “win” real quick after that.
If card games aren’t your thing, and you want to gamble over a long period of time so you can enjoy the atmosphere (cause who doesn’t love a windowless room full of depression!), a cheap alternative to card games are the slot machines. The Hard Rock has literally thousands of slot machines all with different themes which take place in different periods of time. With titles like “Colonial Cash Extravaganza” which are surprisingly historically accurate when it comes to what each symbol does. You don’t really know what’s “good” until you get it and find out.
“Oh I got three women in a row that must be good!” Wrong, women couldn’t vote let alone earn money back in colonial times so you lose a turn! Better luck next time! It seems like you never really win money on these slot machines, you just progressively lose less until you’ve spent 4 hours on one machine to only be down $15. That’s kind of like winning?
Also, a big part of surviving the casino is to not give into peer pressure. You need to be strong and try to resist even when they put up a good argument. Like if you ask your friend “should I put $20 on black?” and they respond, “$20 on black? Of course not that’s ridiculous…put $80 on black! Think of how much money you’d win!” It can be hard to resist such flawless logic like “more money = way better,” but if you want to continue to enjoy your life you need to be stern when it comes to how much you’re willing to gamble with.
So if you want to experience the world of gambling it’s a short trip to the Seminole Hard Rock. Just play in moderation, you’ll be fine! As long as it doesn’t get to the point where before you even sit down at a table the dealer says, “John you can’t afford to keep doing this” you should be o.k. You just need to know when to quit.
At the same time quitters never win. Nobody ever calls the guy who wins the millions “addicted.” Remember, it’s only a gambling “problem” if you lose!
John Jacobs can be reached at jjacobs@ut.edu.
Good advice here.
Sounds like you could write a book on coordinated gambling that would rival the MIT blackjack team’s counting method manual! “Cough your way to million$” (the s is an $ to emphasize how cool the book will be).
Keep it up sir.