Celebrities and public figures of all stripes, being ipso facto completely full of hot air, have recently found their artificially constructed images and supporting public relations spin to be a mixed blessing.
On the one hand, the infallible image projected by their mendacity leaves them especially humiliated when they screw up.
But at the same time, that very public relations chicanery is the first thing to rescue them from the depths of scandal.
Witness recent screwups by notable celebrities: Mel Gibson was caught frothing anti-Semitic remarks, yet saved by admitting to alcoholism; the evangelical Ted Haggard was intimated in contacting a gay prostitute, but quickly noted that he only did so for methamphetamines, which is far more respectable than homosexuality to his demographic; Congressman Mark Foley sent sexually explicit messages to minors but exculpated himself on the grounds that he was an alcoholic and molested as a child; and Anthony Mercieca, his childhood priest, admitted to the molestation, but blamed it on the tranquilizers which he admitted taking.
The standard procedure of public relations was very clear: when a scandal threatens a celebrity, divert it by granting a smaller scandal that has explanatory power for the larger issue.
That is, it was very clear, until it proved completely unable to rescue Michael Richards, who formerly played Cosmo Kramer on “Seinfeld,” from his recent actions at Los Angeles’ Laugh Factory.
Here it was that Richards was caught on tape screaming repulsive and unforgivably racist filth that even Archie Bunker wouldn’t find amusing.
Addressing a black member of his audience, possessed by satanic fury, Richards shouted: “He’s a [N-word]; he’s a [N-word]. A [N-word], look there’s a [N-word].”
The PR masterminds were immediately stumped. No small admission could attenuate Richards’ unmistakable guilt; suggestions that he was under stress, or in need of anger management, clearly could not cut it.
If Richards was to be rescued from this scandal, entirely new methods of public relations were required, and after carefully reviewing all evidence surrounding the incident, I can only offer the following as Richards’ best shot of escape.
Far from pinning the incident on an underlying fault, any successful smokescreen campaign must justify Richards’ behaviors with his virtues.
For example: Claim that, overwhelmed with firm anti-racist convictions, Richards was deeply disturbed by the hate generated by the use of the N-word, and decided to utilize one of his shows which, by alarmingly showing the negativity of the word, would implore all decent citizens to stop using it.
On David Letterman’s show, Richards gave hints of his original aim. He admitted to being overjoyed that the recipient of his racist tirade went to the press, and stated that “I think it’s important for the Afro-American community to make sure this kind of crap just doesn’t come about.”
He voiced his concern “about more hate and more rage and more anger coming through