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As the season of lovers approaches, the saying “if he wanted to, he would” is resurfacing on social media. This is the truth about the popular saying and argues for traditional standpoints.
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By Carla Morales
TAMPA, Fla. — As the season of lovers approaches, the saying “if he wanted to, he would” is resurfacing on social media. This saying has been floating on social media for many years, as the media is a prominent component of our world today.
According to Glamour magazine, this popular saying’s definition is “the idea that if a man is interested or wants to be with you, he’ll figure a way to make it happen or to show a woman.”
This saying is widely shared on social media when in the “talking stages” with guys.
Many use this saying to describe how much a guy truly likes or is interested in them. Although this saying can be applied and believed in certain situations, generalizing it for every situation is unrealistic and unethical.
Although many people think that guys do whatever they want whenever they want to show a girl they are interested in, sometimes people cannot do things even if they want to, for whatever reason. This saying creates an unrealistic standard that can be hard for a guy to live up to. Additionally, this saying could possibly cause girls to mentally limit their options with guys, as they may assume a lack of interest based on small actions.
Furthermore, the use of this quote depends on the status a girl has with a guy. If a girl and a guy are in the so-called “talking stage,” which is the time period before dating and getting to know each other on a deeper level, there should be no direct expectation for either party to do anything, as there is no official label.
According to The Good Men Project, “if he wanted to, he would,” is not always true. There are a lot of reasons that guys just don’t do stuff, even though they want to.
Put this example into perspective: if you were a girl, would you be bummed out if a guy you were talking to was not able to drive three hours to go see you for five minutes? Perhaps, but it should also be understood that it is extremely unrealistic and simply inconvenient for anyone to do this.
In relation, a digitally driven “relationship” one is actively building with someone (texting, snapchatting, or facetiming) could and should be applied with the saying “if he wanted to, he would.” This is because if a guy genuinely wanted to text you back, Snapchat you back, or call you back, he would. As previously stated, it gets more complicated when this saying is applied in physical situations.
What this ultimately demonstrates is that the phrase “if he wanted to, he would” cannot be applied universally. While effort from guys matters, context equally matters.
Interest should be proved through communication and consistency instead of unrealistic expectations that the media is coming up with. A more accurate and realistic saying that the media should adopt is “if he’s able to, he would” as it allows more room for understanding and less for unrealistic standards.