I will always look back at my childhood fondly with many memories of the countless Barbie dolls that cluttered my room. Barbie was just so pretty and she did it all! She was a flight attendant, a doctor, a veterinarian; she went to parties and dressed fabulously; she had the perfect husband (well until they apparently got a divorce) and she was a mom! Barbie was perfect and children around the country looked up to her as a role model.
Flash forward to 2012 and there are some new Barbies coming to town: meet the Kardashians, Barbie-fied. America’s favorite sisters; Kim, Khloe and Kourtney are becoming Barbies this year and now every child in America can look up to them as their new role models. After all, Barbie is just old and tired. Plus, she is just way too blonde. Not only will these dolls be made to the likeness of the Kardashian trio, but it is also rumored that the dolls will be tailored to their body measurements while wearing outfits resembling clothes from their DASH line of stores. I am not quite sure how they will fit the Kim doll’s voluptuous behind into the box for packaging, but what a great thing her realistic Barbie doll will be for all to aspire to.
Each doll of course will be a different kind of role model. A youngster who buys the Kim doll can aspire to the following: make sex tapes with musicians in order to become famous, have 72-day marriages for publicity once they acquire that fame and shamelessly flaunt their derrière in skin-tight, revealing dresses. For the Kourtney types out there, her doll will be the perfect role model for having children out of wedlock and staying with absolutely awful boyfriends despite familial protests. And finally, for those who hope to be foul-mouthed and ride on the coattails of other people’s fame, there’s Khloe.
For the eclectic type, why not purchase all three? Look to the Kardashian doll trio to achieve vapid and high-pitched voices, fame without really doing anything at all, and numerous reality TV shows that showcase that lack of doing anything.
Why should Mattel stop at just three dolls, though? There are so many different versions of the sisters to be made and not to mention, the Kardashian Klan is huge! There are just so many possibilities.
Why not make a pregnant version of Kourtney or even a couple set of Kourtney and boyfriend, Scott Disick? Recreate the Kardashian family feuds with the Scott doll, then have Kourtney and Scott doll make up. After all, isn’t that how Kourtney doll got pregnant a second time?
There would have to be a Kris Humphries doll of course, the married and divorced versions. The latter has a permanent frown, though, but also has an extra 15 minutes of fame. Pressing a button on Kris doll’s back will even produce tears as fake as his marriage!
Who could forget the momager Kris Jenner? Her and her husband Bruce Jenner could have couple sets for their dolls, with pre and post plastic surgery versions. Kids who want to play plastic surgeon for a day can have at it on Kris and Bruce dolls’ faces!
Since the Kim doll will obviously be the most popular of the whole Kardashian Klan, Mattel could make a line of dolls devoted to the famed divorcee. There could be a limited edition Kollector Kim doll featuring both of her wedding dresses and accessories such as her divorce papers, Playboy spread and that infamous sex tape. During play dates, girls and boys alike could reenact Kim and Kris’ wedding as well as their divorce, all while watching the endless reruns of Kourtney and Kim Take New York on E!. Hey, why not even make a sex tape version of the Kim doll with accompanying Ray J? They could make his doll true to size as well.
For little girls who want to be more interactive with their Kim doll, they could purchase a Botox Beauty Kim! Just inject Kim doll’s face with the accompanying mini Botox syringe and watch her transform! Kim doll will go from looking 30 to fake in a matter of seconds. Children can use the botox on themselves too to be just like their Kim doll! They should be careful, of course, to hide it from their mothers. Botox is pretty expensive after all.
The younger generation really needs these revamped Barbies of the Kardashian sisters to be its role models if these kids ever want to make it big when they grow up. Girls need to learn to be more sexualized, to throw their morals in a blinged-out trash can, to rely on plastic surgery to feel beautiful and to rely on rich parents to achieve anything in life. I just might buy one myself.
Jessica Keesee can be reached at jessica.keesee@spartans.ut.edu.
Spot on with this write-up, I actually believe that
this site needs far more attention. I’ll probably be returning to read through more, thanks for the info!
Can’t wait for kardishan doll….LOL
I’ll so F***k them up from each and very hole of theirs ….
Great article! Funny too. The Kardashians have nothing to provide to young girls as role models. I don’t think the writer, or anyone else, who pokes fun at them, is envious or judgmental at all…they are just calling it as they see it. It’s called “keeping it real”. Liking the Kardashians is an indication of where you stand on the morality and intellect scale…
Whatever they did to be famous i don’t care.The fact that they don’t deny anything means they are trustworthy down to earth and honest. Who knows what you people do? It might be worse than that. Have life and stop this jealousness. After all i love them no matter what.
Why do we even care what the Kardashians do? Their only claim to fame is that their father defended OJ and Kim made a sex tape. They embody everything that is wrong with America.
Hey… Everyone has problems and issues. Who are you to judge? Sounds like you are envious .. I think once and for all we met some real honest people and that takes courage and humility. I like all the Kardashians and like their honesty!!!!!