Ménage à Trois; Can Three Partners In A Relationship Be One Too Many?

Dear Eric,

I have been with my boyfriend for four years now and things are going really great, but lately I feel as though we have fallen into a rut in the bedroom. Normally, we are both very open to trying new things, but the other day I asked him if he wanted to have a threesome and he completely shut the idea down. How can I make him more open to the idea of adding another partner?
Sincerely,
Troubled!

Dear Troubled,

Ah, the ménage à trois: a fantasy for some, fear for others.

It sounds like your boyfriend may be afraid that bringing in someone new may cause some jealousy. He could be wondering if you’ll find that the other partner is a better lover than he is. Or it may just be a simple case of him trying to protect you from an act he finds risky or dangerous.

As you are in a committed relationship, you may want to try to compromise. Since this threesome sounds like a fantasy of yours, why don’t you ask him about his fantasies, and agree on trying one of those as well.
Assure him that the other partner will be someone you both know, and someone he can trust. If you assure your boyfriend he is the only one for you, his fear of you liking the other person more will be extinguished.

If he is still resistant, respect that he is uncomfortable with the idea and move on. You don’t want to force your partner to do something he would feel uncomfortable doing and you can always revisit the idea another time.

Most importantly, make sure you to always practice safe sex. For more information about staying safe visit the Planned Parenthood website for FAQ’s about safer sex.
Hope it goes well!

Eric

Have Questions? Send your sex, love and relationship questions to Eric at ezornUT@gmail.com. Make sure your subject box contains the word, “UTampa.”