One of my favorite debates with guys has to deal with what I call “man-hoeing.” This basically signifies men’s need to go out and get with as many girls as possible.
Of course, some disagree and say that girls are just as bad and try to go out and get with as many boys as they can, and that it’s not just a guy thing. They (the guys) also say they just aren’t down for “campaigning” right now, they’re just “politicking” and that the girls are guilty of it too. Let’s explain these new words.
They will not be found in the dictionary or online and are not common knowledge. Instead they stem from UT freshmen Christian Perry and Stefon Barfield. They are code words similar to the ones on Jersey Shore (i.e. “grenades,” “landmines,” “buttuhface,” etc.) Politicking can be thought of as a short-term thing. The process is meet, flirt and get physical, a “no-strings-attached” policy. Campaigning is more of a long term thing. The goal in mind would be to make an actual relationship with the person you have met.
Now, who is more likely to be accused of politicking, males or females? Males say it’s pretty equal and that there are obviously girls who are in the same state of mind, because these are the girls that the guys are getting with. Females say guys do it more often and girls are looking for love, a.k.a. trying to campaign. Based on my observations, there are a lot of girls who are down for politicking; take the girls that like to come to my hall between the hours of midnight and 3 a.m. to meet up with guys and chill in their rooms. I won’t mention any names, but I will say that I know they aren’t playing Xbox or PS3 into the wee hours of the morning.
Just sayin’.
As far as girls politicking more often than guys, it doesn’t seem to be true. By talking to groups of girls and guys on campus, I’ve found out that a lot of girls think casual sex is okay, but they are looking for something more. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of girls that have said they are just looking for a good time, but more often girls seem to want to be with just one guy. The guys on the other hand were all for the one night lovers, except one. UT student Thomas Gentil says, “I’m not down for casual sex. I’m more of a romantic.” Aw. Cute. Finally, a sweet guy.
This isn’t going to be a guy-bashing article, girls must be touched upon for a minute. Being a girl myself, I have become witness to catching “easy” or desperate girls in the act. Sometimes it’s really not the guys’ fault for “hooking up” with a girl.
Sometimes girls throw themselves on guys and lots of them, not all, can’t resist the invitation. Even so, this is not an excuse. So guys, using the line
“Hey, she came on to me,” is not going to save you every time you have a one-night stand. Now when it comes to politicking, lots of issues may arise.
The biggest one being that sometimes both sexes are not aware that this is a no-strings-attached thing. If one person catches deeper feelings, you should be prepared for there to be issues. Be honest and just say you’re not looking for a relationship.
It may make that person change their mind about being “DTS” (down to snuggle, for all you non-Jersey Shore watchers), but it’s better to put all your cards on the table.
Trust me, it will not be fun having someone call or text you all the time trying to make the situation more than what you had intended.
Another piece of advice to the girls: guys can spot which girls they think they can get with from a mile away. Don’t put yourself out there too much. What I mean is, don’t talk like you’re down for anything and everything when you’re really not. Also, to put it bluntly, don’t dress like a cheap hooker and don’t act like a sexual slob (whether sober or drunk). Guys will take it the wrong way and they will try to act upon it.
You don’t want to seem like something you’re not. By the way, other girls will talk about you. It’s in our nature; “High School” drama never ceases to exist. Lesson for today: be aware, be honest and be smart. If you’re not, then you will become a part of the “IFF” (I’m F—ed Foundation) like Ronnie from Jersey Shore and I’m pretty sure you don’t want that.
Good luck loving!
Dominique C. Barchus can be reached at dominique.barchus@spartans.ut.edu.
I agree on all aspects, why? Because there is some of all types of people you mention in your article.. I too was once caught up in what we called then “Friends with benifits”… On my end and my perspective, the reasoning became the individual I was involved was “Playing the game” full swing and a number of times i was advised in order to keep up i too must play the game but better… In my opinion most females do look for a good time because they become fed up of the bull crap, and lieing and eventually become numb, as i so became at one point in my younger years.. Most women will agree to play the feild but like i always tell people at the end of the day every female is soft and pink and will want commitment.. Just like too many young women today I had a fear of being alone and standing alone. If you don’t have a good support team it’s actually up to you as a woman to be you own advocate. The problem with most females is they trusted to easy in the begining, also they look to turn to a man for love instead of learning to love themselves first..
Most boys however are raised to think ingorantly and selfishly. Why? because their father or male role models or figures in their lives, make it seem like that’s they way to live. Even if he is raised with a woman or a women teach them to not think that way once they become surrounded by a slue of ignoramies the peer pressure kicks in.. In actuality most men are more sensitive than women and have a ego problem. Eventually that good old Lust kicks in and it becomes uncontrollable.. it goes both ways in the end and some females make it hard for the ones trying to remain decent but there are those females just trying to fit in…
My suggestion to all is to learn to love themselves and know their worth… Today world is not a good idea to live free willy because there are too many things running around.. There is a lot more I can say in reference to this topic but i’d be writing for days!!
Way To Go!…Great article!!
This is a good article for discussion. Some comments sound like they are from poeple whom like to ‘Politick’ or like video games.
*sigh*
Erin Erin Erin, thank you for your wonderful insight on my personal life, its like you know me OMG….like really? come on, a quick lay? sorry im more of a campaigner than a politicker. By the way, i dont live in Mckay, nor did i only go to one dorm and talk to people. It’s called a random sample for a reason, i took psychology, i know how to do research thank you. Walking around campus and asking questions to a bunch of people I dont even know doesn’t seems like chilling in McKay to me. But thanks you’re real cool for commenting. Also, if you hadn’t noticed this article plays both sides of the argument, but its okay not everyone can read AND comprehend. Maybe ill let you walk around with me next time. Sometimes doing things yourself may help you to understand.
And to my other two commenters, thanks for understanding lol =]
Very interesting article…people, especially girls are ALWAYS going to talk about you, but as long as you have respect for yourself you wont have worry about being part of the IFF.
How interesting…its always intriguing to see the things people believe will enhance our observations of the world.
I guess some people must have simple problems if a quick lay can fix them…
I think we all know what’s going on here. Our author could use a quick lay.
I find these “observations” skewed and rather biased. Chatting with the residents of McKay doesn’t qualify as random sampling in my book…