As an avid yogi, it seems odd to me that I don’t meditate on a regular basis, especially since I have good reason to.
I have been on anti-anxiety medication for two years now, due to uncontrollable anxiety. While the severity of my anxiety has lessened, my will to wean myself off of the medication is absent.
I recently read an article from MedicalNewsToday.com that discussed a study concluding that meditation is a working therapy in the reduction of anxiety, depression, anger and blood pressure amongst college students.
“The study was conducted at American University with 298 university students randomly allocated to the Transcendental Meditation technique over a three-month intervention period,” the article reported. “For the entire sample in this study, there was a significant improvement in students’ mental health.”
As I read this, I wondered, “Why do I spend $80 a month on my medication, to relieve something that could potentially be cured through meditation?”
I knew this therapy had potential for me since yoga, which incorporates meditative exercises, has proven to both uplift my spirit and relax me.
I called the Lotus Room yoga studio shortly after reading this article and signed up for a one-hour meditation class.
I walked to the back of the studio and into a medium sized room that instantly beckoned me with its blue and purple tapestries, which draped down from the ceiling to represent a darkened sky. Buddha was present, seated in Lotus Pose welcoming me with his wooden smile.
Candles were lit, incense was burning and the teacher, a thin, beautiful and peaceful looking woman named Sahara Rodriguez greeted me with a smile, as she sat cross-legged on a pillow in the middle of the room.
“Take a moment to close your eyes and become aware of your breath” was the teacher’s introductory statement. We were instructed to deepen our breath, inhaling and exhaling through the nose.
After some breathing exercises, we were led through a series of visualizations, each one tuning into a specific chakra, or one of the seven centers of spiritual energy in the human body, which include: the crown of the head, the brow (or third eye), the throat and neck area, the heart, the navel, the pubic area and the last bone in the spinal cord.
Things became a little difficult for me once we began the visualizations. For starters, the man across from me was no longer sitting, but lying down with his legs reaching across the rug and almost touching mine.
This was a problem because my legs were becoming very cramped and all I could focus on was wanting to stretch them out, but I was also very insistent on not opening my eyes to find a place to put them. I tried for the longest time to keep them crossed, but they hurt so badly and my anger grew for the man across from me as he snored loudly, disrupting me even further from blocking out my external sounds and thoughts.
I finally did open my eyes, however, and found a place to stretch my legs out and was able to return to my practice.
For a good 20 minutes thereafter, I followed the visualizations and felt my mind, body and soul center into one. This feeling was not consistent, but when I escaped my sense of being, even for a brief moment, I felt something in me, which is unexplainable, but it was true and deep.
After a while, I found my eyes peeping open to stare at the clock, conveniently located on the wall in front of me. I kept thinking that as much as I liked the benefits I was already feeling from being there, it was necessary to be done with it.
Once I had this in my head, it was impossible to concentrate anymore, so for the rest of the time I thought about everything from homework, to my boyfriend to what I wanted for dinner.
When the class ended, I felt a sense of relief. I knew an hour was just too long for me to start off with. Neither my mind, nor body was prepared for such stillness.
After everyone left the room, I stayed behind to talk to Sahara about the class.
I asked her for both some insight and advice on practicing meditation. “Don’t be intimidated by the practice, but embrace it with an open mind,” she said.
Many people recite a mantra, which is a commonly repeated word or phrase to keep one focused. She gave me a very simple one to try, “sitting, breathing, smiling.”
I left the class feeling a huge sense of accomplishment. I had meditated, or tried to, for a whole hour.
To get a good sense of whether or not this therapy would help relieve my long term anxiety issue, I knew I needed to attend the class a couple more times.
I attended her class two more times this spring, and each time, I slipped deeper away from my external state and into utter relaxation. Of course, there were many times when I lost focus due to the snoring man and other annoyances, but it became easier every time to return to focus. “Sitting, breathing, smiling” I would say to myself until I drifted back into a blissful place.
Normally, I end my yoga sessions in Savasana, which is meant to relax all limbs and all thoughts by lying on the back. Although I usually practice this to cool my body down, it has become a longer, more meditative rest for me.
I’ve been using Savasana as my meditation time because I have noticed the progression of my focus and control over thoughts in those three classes with Sahara.
For two years now, medication has been the controling mechanism over my anxiety, but since I began practicing meditation a few times a week, I’ve come to understand that medication is not the only path.
“The pill that works best is to clear your head and meditation offers a time to do just that,” said Cheryl Crider, a health issues journalist for Helium.com.
While I have yet to slowly diverge from the pill popping, I have discovered a possible alternative, and hope that in the near future, I will find the strength and courage to replace medication with meditation.