You stumble into their room within the wee hours of the night and depart by morning, right before the person with the arm draped around your stomach awakes. Because any slight movement leads to an awkward moment followed by temporary silence and stifled giggles of embarrassment.
So you search the unfamiliar room for your undergarments, find your jacket tossed over the fish tank and settle for only recovering one side to your earrings.
Mind you, all of this is done on your tip toes to avoid making too much noise and you ironically whisper to yourself like a mad woman about what you’re doing and where your shoes are.
The scene continues as you pass by the bathroom down the hall to fix your hair, try to hide the fact that you’re missing one sock and avoid eye contact with every other person that just happens to be awake at eight o’clock in the morning.Trust me; I was anything but discreet, shame plastered all over my face.
It is amazing to me because this new generation is filled with sex, sex and more sex; sometimes there is a little bit of love thrown in.Why our generation still considers one night stands a healthy choice is beyond me.
Amongst all the suppressed feelings that arise unexpectedly, sex is never just sex. Some try to put up a front and make others believe that they can easily “make love” without actually committing to any form of feelings.
This is what my friend and I like to call the “unspoken rule”: if you are going to succumb to a non-committable partner, then you cannot develop feelings for them.
It is an easy setup for disaster because no matter how emotionally void you may be, crushes do occur and they grow faster than mold.
Still, as you explore your sexuality, meet new and interesting people, or actually lose your virginity, this is college. Sex conquers all.
But, confusion arises between love and intimacy because slowly but surely their stuff starts to invade your dorm room.
The toothbrush moves in, your closet space gets smaller and they start bringing an overnight bag.
However, the situation becomes awkward. You’ve taught yourself that this person means less, the sex is inconsequential; you unintentionally hurt their feelings and stay in denial that you actually have developed feelings.
If you do manage to mask your newly developed love for your “friend,” all the possibilities to express your desires are devoured by natural stubborn behavior and frustration.
Because let’s face it, no one likes rejection and healthy communication with the ability to articulate ones feelings is lost within this generation.
Therefore the next morning starts the vicious cycle over where words are barely spoken save for the unnecessary moans and the screaming of their name in the last few minutes that seem to make everything worth it.
And within the thin walls of each resident hall, you can hear the sounds of your peers making love-just wait to hear the door open and close minutes later.
Let’s just hope it isn’t an every night thing.
Narisa Imprasert can be reached at nimprasert@ut.edu.
Interesting and frank article. I have observed the same thing in my practice: Young adults become sexual very quickly and then form relationships that perhaps never would have occurred if the couple had slowed down and gotten to know one another, even if for a short time.