It’s happening again.
Another rich American celebrity is attempting to adopt a child from a foreign country.
Every time I hear about this happening, I wonder what goes through the minds of said celebrities. Yes, they will be able to provide a better life for these children than they would ever receive in their home country, but when you look at it that way, those kids are being treated much better than most of us did growing up.
From what I’ve seen on VH1’s “The Fabulous Life of …” Angelina Jolie’s adopted son Maddox lives a better life than I do, and he’s only five! More recently, Madonna has been trying to adopt a boy from Malawi. Malawian officials are opposing the adoption because Madonna has never lived there.
In an attempt to make this whole process less painful for everyone, I am going to put myself up for adoption. If I have to temporarily relocate to a third world country and change my name to something with extra syllables, it will be worth it.
Just think: At the rate these rich celebrities are swiping up poor foreign kids, I should be relaxing in my new home in no time. The only thing that might make me less desirable is the fact that I’m twenty years old rather than four, but I’ve thought that through as well. All I need is one of those over-achieving “Look at me!” types that always have to be the first at doing things.
Who knows, maybe Jennifer Aniston will pick me up just to out-do Brad Pitt for adopting those kids with Angelina. After all of the government paperwork is filed and they calm the protesters down, it’ll be “good-bye Ethiopia” and “hello California!” My parents would probably miss me, but they’ll get over it.
You have to wonder what it’s like for the real families of these children who American celebs just drop in and take as their own. Do you think they had that child with the sincere hope that some rich white person would take it off their hands? What if they don’t want to give up their child? Even though the kid would indisputably live a better life with the family of Mia Farrow than with Mr. and Mrs. [click] [click] Derp, there’s still a matter of principle here. Just because someone is rich and can feasibly buy anything they want, that doesn’t give them the right to walk through a village and say “I want that one!” as if in a pet shop.
I remember the days when celebrities and rich people used to just donate large sums of money to foreign countries and relief funds and that was considered the right thing to do. Now it’s not enough to just help poor countries out, we have to adopt their children and bring them to our already crowded country. Not that it isn’t great that we want to let these kids live the best life they can, but why can’t we help their home country out and get them to the point that they don’t have to move here to live a good life. Sending missionaries to Ethiopia and forcing them to learn our religion and our language doesn’t make them better off, it just makes them hate Americans.
Maybe the celebrities are adopting kids from poor countries to make themselves feel better, or maybe it’s just because the kids are cute; who knows? What I do know is that I’d rather be adopted by one of them than depend on two cents a day from Sally Struthers’ Children’s Fund. Two cents a day won’t buy a stick of gum, no matter what country you’re in. The point here is that no matter how much good celebrities think they’re doing, it usually doesn’t amount to much. Let’s leave the world saving to the people who really know what they’re doing: politicians!