When I was officially accepted to study abroad in Italy, I decided I would eat my way through Europe. My plan was to eat everything that was put on my plate, and I even brought jeans that were two sizes bigger than my normal size.
For four months I pretty much only ate pizza, pasta and gelato. My host mom even refused to let me leave the dinner table if there was still food waiting to be eaten. She didn’t believe in leftovers. “Mangia, mangia, mangia, Stefy,” she would say to me, which means, “eat, eat, eat,” in Italian. Sono piena,” I’d say back, rubbing my stomach to emphasize I was full. It never worked. I had to finish everything on the table. To say it was torture would be a little over dramatic. My host mom, an inspiring chef, lived to cook. From the spinach tortellini to the grilled pork seasoned with herbs and drizzled with olive oil to the penne con tonna (pasta with tuna), every bite tasted like a little piece of heaven. However, I do not kid when I say that after lunch and dinner, I was put into a food coma
I walked everywhere and hiked when I traveled. I didn’t even need my “fat” jeans because I actually ended up losing weight. It was nice not having to worry about what I was eating and if the slice of pizza layered in sausage and French fries would go to my butt or my thighs. Nobody said anything to me about what I was eating and instead joined in with me.
To say the Italians didn’t care about weight would be a lie. My host mom was on a diet the entire time I lived with her and every morning when I would wake up to run, locals would be out riding bikes, some would be running, and others, usually the older ladies, would be in large groups power-walking. However, they weren’t excessive about it. My host mom cheated all the time and would indulge every now and then when she was craving something.
So one could only imagine my discomfort coming back to America and learning about the bikini bridge and thigh gap. I think it was even worse hearing Jennifer Lawrence, a perfectly healthy individual, calling herself “obese” in the celebrity world. The obsession our society has with appearance is disgusting and has gotten to the point where girls are literally dying to be thin. One of my favorite artists, Ke$ha, checked herself into rehab for an eating disorder because society and allegedly her management told her she was fat. “I’ve watched my beautiful, self-confident, brilliant daughter be berated and ridiculed for her looks and weight to the point that she almost died,” Ke$ha’s mom, Pebe Sebert, told People magazine.
I’ve only been back at UT for a few days, but I have friends beginning cleansing diets. I’ve seen people at the gym stand in front of the mirror, poking at their thighs or jiggling their arms to demonstrate to their friends where their fat is located on their already tiny frame. I’ve heard girls congratulating other girls on only eating a salad for lunch. I am sorry, but I will always choose a cheeseburger over a salad, unless the salad looks really good and then, maybe I’ll eat both. I believe in portion control and being healthy, but I don’t believe in depriving myself of food I crave or enjoy eating every once in a while. There is a huge difference in wanting to be healthy and wanting to be thin; and lately, society is blurring the lines.
Twenty-four-year-old Australian model Robyn Lawley is considered to be a plus-sized model because she is a size 12 even though her body is perfectly proportionate to her 6’2 frame. In a recent interview with Clique magazine, Lawley talked about how it was impossible for her to meet society’s demand to achieve a size zero.
“Even at my lightest, I just couldn’t get there,” Lawley said. “I genuinely really tried. I was counting calories, I was taking diet pills, I was dabbling in starvation.”
Since then, Lawley has taken a stand against being considered larger than normal.
“People think plus-size models don’t exercise – we do!” She said. “But it’s about health, not forcing my body to be something it’s not meant to be.”
I personally wish more people – guys and girls – would understand this concept. Some bodies aren’t meant to bend in certain directions and some girls will never be a size 0. I for sure will never be a size zero or a size two, as a matter of fact, because my body is not designed for that. I have hips and curves and I am okay with that.
So the next time you want to reach for a cookie, you eat that cookie. Honestly, what is one cookie going to do to you besides give your mouth an orgasm? Shoot, eat two or three cookies. Even go for that whole box of cookies if that is what you are craving. And if you start having doubts about how you look, instead of depriving yourself of food, remember what Julia Roberts said in Eat, Pray, Love, “Let me ask you something. In all the times that you’ve undressed in front of a gentleman, has he ever asked you to leave?
No – exactly! Because he doesn’t care. He’s in a room with a naked girl. He’s won the lottery!”
Stef Crocco can be reached at stefanie.crocco@spartans.ut.edu