Zoe and Jackie walked into the dimly lit studio at the McNiff Fitness Center, laid out their yoga mats and faced the impending doom of the noon power yoga class. The yoga classes at the fitness center are arguably one of the most popular classes there, so it wasn’t a surprise to see the studio filled with eager yogis, awaiting their spiritual transformation.
“I haven’t done yoga in a week,” Zoe whispered with a nervous tremor in her voice. Jamie, the yoga instructor, told at least 10 student yogis and Jackie’s former creative writing professor, to do three seemingly easy tasks: listen to their bodies throughout the duration of the class, let their breathing guide their movements and don’t worry about how far Limber Lucy is stretching. This was easier said than done.
The class started off with a simple downward dog while the sounds of Hindu rap led them to a plank position. With jelly arms and tucked-in elbows, they lowered themselves to the ground and listened to the wise words of the rapper: “When I say ‘hare,’ you say ‘Krishna.’”
The sun salutations, known as a series of 12 postures executed in flowing movements, weren’t an easy feat for Zoe. Her transition from runner’s lunge into a standing flat back position resembled the ease of a monkey playing with his mates accompanied by a heavy Rick Ross grunt.
To the right of Zoe, Jackie was facing her own inner battle while standing in warrior pose––a battle with her stomach. Although the instructor told everyone to listen to their bodies, it was slightly difficult for Jackie to hear anything over the moans and groans of her empty stomach. Every lift of the arms and roll of the neck was followed by an overwhelming wave of dizziness. However, she managed to calm the unrelenting beast of hunger by bringing her focus back to her breathing.
After a series of strenuous poses and salutations, the instructor prepared them for the “side crow pose,” a blatant defense of gravitational laws. She started out by placing both her hands on the ground at the right side of her body, and everyone else followed suit. When she lifted the rest of her body off the ground, however, is when the rest of the class gave up.
Everyone looked at each other in sheer horror, as if they wanted to say, “I’m not doing that shiz.” Meanwhile, as Jackie and Zoe slumped onto their mats in defeat, the writing professor contorted herself into the same pose as though it were second nature. As her body slowly gravitated upwards with her hands planted firmly on the ground, they sat and stared with their jaws agape and utter incompetence flooding their egos.
After their self-esteem took a hearty beating, the instructor finally asked the class to do Jackie and Zoe’s favorite position: final relaxation. In this pose, the body surrenders itself to the earth and sinks into ground while laying on one’s back with palms stretched open. Most fell into deep relaxation while some (namely Jackie) fell asleep.
To conclude the power yoga session, everyone sat up into a comfortable seated position and gave thanks to the instructor in the words of Namaste. The instructor then recited a beautiful mantra in Sanskrit which, to Zoe and Jackie, simply translated to “time for lunch.”
Jackie Braje can be reached at jacquelyn.braje@spartans.ut.edu.
Zoe Fowler can be reached at zoe.fowler@spartans.ut.edu.