I gave the woman at the club’s back door the password. The music I heard from above could only be described as heavy and my heart began to pump, unsure of what I was getting myself into. My friend’s thoughts must have mimicked my own because as we headed up the stairs, he grabbed my arm and said, “So how intense do you think this is going to be?”
As if on cue, a man came blundering down the stairs, wearing nothing but a leather thong, some boots and a dog collar. As he passed us he called, “Hey! How you guys doing tonight?” as casually as if we had just run into each other at Starbucks. I took a deep breath, nodded to my friend and we made our way to the party.
The first thing I saw was a woman suspended in the air by a very intricate combination of rope. To the right of me, there were people tied up with their hands above their head while their partner traced their skin with some sort of electric current. Toward the back, I could see a man handcuffed to a giant X while two women beat him with crops and whips, only to kiss him a second later.
The things I saw ranged from familiar to horrifying, but the people here were just having a good time in their own way. Ages ranged from 20-somethings to people well into their 60s. I had found myself at a fetish party—this was the underground world of BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism, masochism), where taking a picture would have your ass thrown out on the street and using your real name was frowned upon.
To people who enjoy this kind of lifestyle, the underground has always been where it’s at. Taking pleasure in being tied up and spanked wasn’t something you would discuss with your friends. But recently, there has been a bit of change in that.
According to The Crimson, Harvard University recently approved a student club known as “The Harvard Munch,” a group of students devoted to kinky sex and BDSM. Though groups like this have existed before on their campus, it is the first time that it is being legitimized by the university itself. The club will now be able to advertise meetings and events, and will also be eligible for food grants, which will make it easier for them to find meeting space on campus.
A club like this is obviously open to a lot of debate, but members and those that approve of its existence feel that it is a place for students with these desires to feel safe and recognize that they are not alone. Isn’t that the purpose of having such diverse clubs on campus?
“The beauty of college is getting to explore things you may never have looked into on your own,” said junior marine biology major Leanne Ballering on learning about The Harvard Munch. “I personally am a tad more private about my sex life, but for people who aren’t shy and want to learn about BDSM and exotic practices, they should be allowed to let their freak flags fly,” she continued. “Just like any other topic in society, if it bothers you, feel free to voice your opinion or just steer clear of it.”
The idea that topics like this have become more casual seems like a product of a progressive age that encourages people to be themselves in terms of whether they are gay, straight, bisexual or transgender. Essentially, talking about who you want to have sex with has become a more comfortable topic in society. Now people are talking about what exactly it is they like to do.
But if I had to point my finger at the catalyst that has brought upon this openness, it would be easy: 50 Shades of Grey. The contrast on attitudes towards BDSM since that book came out is remarkable. The fetish party that I found myself in speaks more towards the old attitude of such practices—a secret club where no one knows you and you can be into whatever you like without being judged. Anyone from the outside world would be quick to call you a pervert if they knew what you did behind closed doors.
Nowadays, I see women of all ages reading 50 Shades in public without shame, while most of the people who walk past must know her smirk is due to a steamy scene involving handcuffs and a leather riding crop. Go into any sex shop in Tampa and you will find a section devoted to this book, along with BDSM starter kits. It’s created a craze, a curiosity to try new things and a new level of comfort when it comes to talking about it.
“I think it’s a really interesting movement that’s happening, and I’m curious to see what happens to our society as it continues,” said junior writing major Joanna Hynes. “Just this semester my COM professor pointed out to me just how ‘afraid’ of ‘sex’ our society is because a movie with a lot of sex is rated ‘R but a movie with a lot of violence is only PG-13. I think it’s really interesting to see sex become a more acceptable topic.”
Will BDSM become the new norm and will good old-fashioned love-making fly out the window? It might not be headed that way, but there are certainly more people willing to try. Even more likely, the craze will die down a little once people realize the actual lifestyle isn’t what was romanticized in the books. But for people who are really into it and want to find a place that they belong to without feeling ashamed, Harvard sets an example in creating a place where anyone and everyone can find their niche. Even if that involves a set of handcuffs and a ball gag.