I was 30 minutes away from an experience that I thought was a good idea. I was beginning to wonder if I really wanted to have my pants scared off at Busch Gardens’ Howl-O-Scream event. I can barely handle scary movies, let alone a large theme park filled with scare zones and haunted houses.
The gates opened at 7 p.m., and I had my front line fear pass in my hand and my fiancé by my side. What was I thinking? I barely made it in the front gate when a zombie with half of her face falling off turned and locked eyes with me. “Come join us,” she said. “No thanks,” I whispered as I jumped in the opposite direction.
Having passed the first scare zone, we decided to circle around the park starting at Blood Asylum, a new haunted house for this year’s event. The suspense was scary enough for me. I was standing in line waiting to be waved into the asylum. There was a movie clip on the wall. It looked old and talked about an escaped patient that was on a killing spree. His laugh was hideous.
Do I really have to go in there? I thought to myself. I pushed my fiancé in front of me as we entered so he would get hit with the “scary” first. This was not a very good plan. I should have known better because in a haunted house the ones attacked are almost always the girls. Blood everywhere, guts on random objects and patients sitting in chairs with straight jackets surrounded me. One patient jumped out in front of me and laughed, “He’s going to get you!”
I felt relieved when the guts were behind me and I could no longer hear the screams and laughs of the patients. However, the relief didn’t last very long because as soon as I walked out of the haunted house there was a zombie standing before me. Why did I volunteer to go to something I know that I hate? I thought I would be able to handle it since I’m a big girl, but every time I felt my heartbeat going back to normal, someone else would jump out at me from nowhere and my heart would jump back in my throat.
There were a couple of good photo opportunities amidst the chaos, however, including a pumpkin patch and werewolf who volunteered to take a picture with me while breathing down my neck. I know none of it is real, but I will admit there is still something freaky about a man-wolf standing right next to you.
Of course, I had to go to the Circus of Superstition 3D house, too. It is also a new haunted house this year. It was like stepping into the 1990 miniseries “It” based on the Stephen King novel. There were jokers standing outside the circus tent asking if we were afraid of clowns and a creepy clown with striped pants and a cut face standing on a ladder at the entrance.
Neon colors and 3D glasses made the walls and mirrors pop out at us as we made our way through the circus hell. Clowns with blood running down their faces jumped out from random places and banged the walls as we passed by them. “Don’t leave your hat on the bed. If you do you might lose your head!” yelled one clown as another with fangs popped up from inside the bed at the center of the second room. This sight had me scared for quite a while.
Yes, I hate clowns with blood dripping down their face and fangs protruding from their mouths, but I hate chainsaws even more. It was just my luck that the scare zone outside of my first ever circus (if you’d consider that a circus) was filled with bloodthirsty lumberjacks with chainsaws in hand. I weaved to the left and right trying to get through them without peeing my pants only to be chased by two of them and screaming at the top of my lungs as I entered Timbuktu.
Would there be no relief from this terror? I questioned to myself. Yes. There was relief to be found and it was inside Desert Grill where the Fiends show took place.
Dr. Freakenstein and his naughty nurses (the fiends) put on a show that eased the rapid beat of my heart. The doctor was having visitors over for a party and we (the audience) were invited too. His sidekick was determined to have his own reality television show and interpreted his versions of Honey Boo Boo, Rihanna, Psy and the Jersey Shore cast.
It was a Halloween version of Cinderella with some naughty twists and endless pop culture references. It was super hilarious and engaging. A free dessert to go with my front line fear pass made it that much sweeter. The best part was the end of the show when everyone jumped up and started dancing to “Gangnam Style.”
After pretending to ride a horse with a room full of people, I had caught my breath and was ready to face the creatures waiting for me outside the building. All the ghouls and goblins I ran into earlier in the night were at the exit of the show eagerly jumping at us as we walked back into “The Dark Side of the Gardens.”
I hate scary movies. I hate blood, guts, zombies and vampires. But I love rollercoasters, music and plays. I was shivering in my shoes, but I survived Howl-O-Scream 2012 in one piece. It was a great experience that I hope I get to return to next year.
Kelly St. Onge can be reached at kelly.st.onge@theminaretonline.com