Technology is everywhere. Everywhere you look people are on their phones texting, calling someone, checking emails or on Facebook. Laptops are always present around campus and you see people walking around with the tell-tale little white iPod headphones. The use of technology is consuming our lives. And it’s starting to get ridiculous. A video on YouTube was released on October 31, 2011 of a bride who obviously has allowed technology to invade her life. She had just been walked down the aisle by her father and was standing with him before the priest. As the priest spoke, she suddenly delved her hand into the front of her wedding gown and pulled out her cell phone. She began texting someone for several minutes, one-handed as the other was still in her father’s grasp, and shoved it back into her bodice when she was finished. Seriously? Her wedding, one of the most significant and life changing events in her life, was evidently less important than that text message. If I were the groom, I would’ve dumped her right then and there. It’s moments like these that really show how much technology has influenced our lives, particularly our relationships.
Modern-day relationships have significantly benefited from technology. It is now much easier to communicate and keep in contact with one another via text and online social networks. Social networks such as Facebook can also be used as a first step to beginning a relationship. If you are not comfortable asking someone for their phone number, you can add them on Facebook, which sends a less obvious and direct message. From there, you can start talking and begin a friendly relationship that can eventually lead to something more. In the past, the only way to communicate with your significant other was by letter or maybe phone calls. Now-a-days it is so easy to, not only talk to your significant other in real time via instant messaging, but also to actually see your partner during a video call even if he or she is halfway across the globe.
But even though people are staying connected, technology is also making relationships impersonal. There are shy people who don’t feel confident unless they have a screen between them and the person they are talking to, and thus instead of actually seeing each other face to face, they communicate via text or online. This makes it impersonal as they are not physically with their partner and cannot reveal their true selves.
However, in another perspective, having a relationship with someone with non-personal contact can be advantageous. You would then not judge them by their appearance but by their ideas, values and whatever personality can come across. Thus a connection can be developed at a deeper emotional level. This of course can change when the two lovers eventually meet face to face and physical imperfections and other flaws are revealed that were not detectable before.
Even though the use of technology has helped relationships, mixing technology and relationships has also created some problems. For example, there is a phrase being thrown around lately that if a relationship is not “Facebook official” it’s not real. Almost everyone is on Facebook. Whether it’s used for people who have a lot of friends around the world, or to just plainly stalk people, Facebook definitely makes it easy to find and talk to others. Thus, there are always people who skim through their Facebook friends trying to find someone they can start a relationship with until a possible candidate is found. Unless of course underneath the person’s picture is the vital caption reading “In a relationship with ____.” At which point, if the person seeking companionship is decent, he or she would give up and keep searching elsewhere. However, as we have probably all encountered in our lives, there are those who don’t respect such titles and would attempt to chase after them anyway. But the point of this useful Facebook label is to proclaim to the world that you are indeed taken and to tell those would-be pursuers to back off. It is also used for certain people as a concrete symbol of their relationship, hence the aforementioned phrase. It comes from the idea that if the relationship is not publicized, it is not definite. I find it sad that people need this label as a kind of reassurance to safeguard their significant other. Why has this become necessary?
A new profile Facebook is going to implement will enhance this paranoia and distrust in relationships. The new layout called “Timeline” is said to be released at the end of the year. This will show the chronology of a person’s activities, statuses, photos, likes and comments, all neatly displayed from the time you began using Facebook. Your friends will now be able to see every status update you have ever written since the beginning of your Facebook usage, every comment you have ever made and every picture you have ever been tagged in. What’s more, your friends will be able to see every relationship you have ever been in and the statuses you wrote about that person, the photos you were tagged in together and every message you wrote to each other. Can you say “awkward?” Now it will be so easy for people to stalk their partner’s past love lives and see everything they did with their ex’s. I can hear the arguments now: “You said the same thing to her! Do you recycle all of your lines?” “Where was that picture taken? Why don’t you ever take me there?” “You told me you were never involved with him!” Let’s just say it’s going to be interesting when Timeline is finally launched.
In any case, when all is said and done, it can’t be argued that technology has influenced our lives and relationships. People are relying on technology to find partners and keep in contact with one another. It’s both advantageous and sometimes potentially harmful. But no matter how we feel about it, it will always be present and is only going to become more and more potent as the years go on. We have emerged into a new age where technology walks hand in hand with relationships. But will we allow technology to define relationships? I think it already has.
Paola Crespo can be reached at pollycrespo@hotmail.com