“Jamey Rodemeyer, 14 yrs old, took his life because of bullying. Bullying must become illegal. It is a hate crime. The past days I’ve spent reflecting, crying, and yelling. I have so much anger. It is hard to feel love when cruelty takes someone’s life.” Lady Gaga tweeted, just after hearing the news of the teen’s death on Sept. 18. Jamey idolized Gaga.
Jamey was 14 years old when he decided to take his own life because of constant bullying from peers about his sexual orientation.
A freshman at Williamsville North High School in Buffalo, NY when he died, Rodemeyer spent most of junior high enduring ridicule from his classmates.
“People would say, ‘Oh my god, you’re such a girl. What are you, gay?’ That kind of stuff,” said Jamey’s mother, Tracy Rodemeyer. “By middle school, the bullying was overwhelming,” she said.
Nearly 40 percent of students in junior high are bullied, and 90 percent of LGBT teens (of any age) endure some form of bullying according to the most recent (2009) study done by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN).
By senior year of high school however, the study reports that only 20 percent of the general student body is bullied, while the number of LGBT students bullied remains at 90 percent.
Family and friends of Rodemeyer thought he was doing well since the start of high school. “He had talked about suicide in the past but denied recently that the bullying had carried over to high school,” said Tracy.
Reaching out to teens who were also struggling with their sexuality, Jamey continually posted positive messages on the YouTube channel “It Gets Better,” a site started by Dan Savage that urges struggling teens to persevere through tough times, and offers them encouragement.
The “It Gets Better” project has thousands of supportive videos posted by celebrities and organizations such as: Neil Patrick Harris, Ke$ha, Jersey Shore’s Vinny Guadagnino, Kermit the Frog, as well as Pixar, Apple, Facebook, Stephen Colbert and President Obama.
His death was surprising because of the support he showed through Savage’s project. However, unknown to his parents, Jamey was still struggling with the bullying. On a Tumblr blog account, which his parents say they did not know existed, the suffering teen continued to post about his bullies, saying things like, “Stop bullying people, maybe then they won’t commit suicide,” and, “Ugh today makes me want to kill myself.”
Jamey’s bullies pursued him both in school and online.
Formspring.com is an anonymous site that allows users to read other people’s thoughts about themselves. Jamey was faced with comments like, “You weren’t born this way, you shouldn’t have been born,” and, “JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND [sic] UGLY. HE MUST DIE!”
On Sept. 18, 2011 Jamey hung himself to death.
Jamey’s story, and the stories of other struggling teens who felt that they needed to take such a tragic and irreversible step are troubling to hear, no matter who you are. His story, and those like his, are especially troubling for members of the LGBT community, whether they are struggling with bullying or not.
Within his story, however, there is hope.
Since the deaths of so many teens recently, Tyler Cumenti, the Rutgers student who killed himself last year after his roommate filmed his encounter with another male, and now Jamey’s, many people are calling for legislation to help prevent such acts from continuing.
Support groups like Gay-Straight Alliances in schools, the Tyler Project (named for Cumenti) and the “It Gets Better” campaign, as well as many others, only do so much for suffering teens however.
In response to Rodemeyer’s death, most likely due to him referencing her and her music during his struggles online, Lady Gaga has committed herself to helping suffering teens in a new way, by fighting to make bullying a crime.
Gaga tweeted, “I am meeting with our President. I will not stop fighting. This must end. Our generation has the power to end it. Trend it #MakeALawForJamey.”
No actual legislation exists nationally to address bullying, however each state has its own definitions and specific acts regarding how to handle bullies—mostly a code of conduct in schools, but Lady Gaga seems intent on making a national legislation a reality.
I think real changes could be made, especially with so many celebrity endorsements from the “It Gets Better” campaign, and Gaga’s direct involvement. With the Obama administration behind marriage equality and so much support for something to happen about bullying, specifically toward the LGBT community, it seems unlikely that this issue will go unaddressed.
Like the Troy Davis execution sparking a likely death penalty reform, Jamey Rodemeyer’s death may spearhead a movement to help other struggling youths before they choose to make the same decision as so many suffering teens before them.
Taylor Whitcomb can be reached at taylor.whitcomb@spartans.ut.edu
They get that place because they have no support- or so they think. Education is key, and advocacy is a must. I am against bullying in any form, but I also think it will be around for a while… it always has been. This being said, if you can not do away with bullying, you have to reach out to those who are the victims. Being tired of living is no reason to take one’s own life! It is a reason to get help!
Scarlet, you said “Suicide is being tired of living, and not wanting to wake up and see the next day. Is that selfish?”… The answer is, yes. Those are personal decisions that one makes based on their personal feelings, made to personally impact one’s life- whether negative or positive. I agree, it is not the question to be asked, but the act is inherently selfish.
We have to, and I emphasize HAVE TO, reach out to kids and those who are targeting them to make a dent in this issue. What people are doing today is making suicide appear to be less than what it is. Essentially, we are saying “it is ok, we understand why you are doing it”, and that is the wrong approach. It is what it is, and we must do our part to make it the LAST resort by providing other ways to escape those feelings.
Suicide is not about being a martyr or a hero. Suicide is being tired of living, and not wanting to wake up and see the next day. Is that selfish? That isn’t the question we should be asking. We should be asking: why does anyone get to this point in the first place?
Ok, I get that. Wasn’t arguing against LGBT, was making the point that it is getting old hearing everyone call names and such over people’s opinions. I believe it is a huge factor in why our nation is so polarized. No one can come together and just talk anymore. It is always “you are with me, or you are not”, rather than coming to an agreement.
@just sayin, calling someone a bigot is not impeading zir free speech, it is merely expressing more free speech. It matters less to me, however, whether out not Hypocrite is a bigot. As a point of fact, ze is incorrect. Ze says that sexual orientation is a choice, and every iota of research done on the subject says that’s not true. From twin studies we know that there is a genetic factor; identical twins share a sexual orientation at a much higher rate than fraternal twins do. However, the correlation is not 100%, which suggests that there are environmental factors as well. Currently those environmental factors are thought to be hormones in the uterus acting on the fetus. In addition, “conversion” treatments have been found to be not only ineffective, but actively harmful to the psychological wellbeing of LGBT people.
The “bigot card” is the new “race card”. If you have an opinion against a certain lifestyle, you are no longer entitled to your opinion…. and honestly, he wasn’t even saying anything negative about homosexuals, only suicide…geez
In an effort to better “listen you out,” I have carefully considered your well-reasoned comments and, after the necessary research, have come to the conclusion that…you’re a bigot.
Agreed. If you just keep killing yourselves off, then you are helping out the “enemy”. I also agree that suicide is a cowardly way to do it, and selfish as hell. Think about those around you. Everyone is always so PC about this stuff, but there is really no politics involved. I have had quite a few friends in the military who have committed suicide, and I was infuriated each time. You are left wondering whether you could have done anything and all that. Get your stuff together, get some help. Also, quit glamorizing those who commit suicide, they are not heroes. IF you want to see a real hero, ask me- I have pics
Suicide is a cowardly act. You can’t be a martyr if you kill yourself. By committing suicide you are letting the bullies win. How will LGBT’s ever be respected if they don’t fight back. If simple words can drive a gay to kill himself…and bullying strictly through words cannot possibly be illegal: freedom of speech people. Yes, bullying that involves assault or battery is just that, assault and battery. Those are illegal. But why would a kid set up a formspring. Straight people that set those up just get made fun of to. What the hell was this idiot expecting? If you’re insecure, you don’t set up a forum for people to make fun of you on. Sorry, I don’t feel bad for people who victimize themselves. If gays are viewed as a generation of weak people who kill themselves because they are not strong enough to overcome the adversity they face, then why would anybody view them any differently. You can’t hold up these kids that kill themselves as heroes. If you’re going to choose to be gay (and I can say this for the same reason a gay person says they were born that way; nobody knows the absolute truth) then you might as well defend yourself for your beliefs. You don’t just kill yourself because you get made fun of. People have been getting discriminated against for their beliefs for centuries, and none of those people solved their problems by killing themselves. I have no respect for suicide. Get your message out some other way and stop handing us this bullshit if you want us to support you.
Having known a few people who have committed suicide, I sympathize greatly with the families and friends of the individual. Lingering self-questioning of what they could have done often intensifies and needlessly prolongs their torment long after the horrific act.
That being said, I believe that legislation on bullying is a superficial, quick fix that will feel good but will ultimately accomplish little.
Only a parent or teacher in a child’s daily life has the chance to evaluate the situation and intercede; heavy-handed legislation interpreted by strangers weakens that power.
I messaged on her fan site a hope, that her definition of hate crime will include TV comedies that take the bully’s side and treat it as a joke against the victim’s character.
In the fashion since the 80s for TV comedy to be very emotionally savage, which itself I believe came from the bully culture, there are many comedies, including many US ones, where a wisecrack is made against someone that they got bullied or beaten up a lot or were unpopular, this is regarded as a joke and is treated as showing the person’s own character to be rubbish in a way that is seen as comic. Can there be any more extreme example than in the cult status and oft-repeated 80s British comedy Blackadder 2?
Bullying, for easily targetted features that are not his fault and could apply to real kids whose peers are watching the show, was given as the reason for the character of a comic villain seeking world conquest. It was also in a way that would help to enforce boys not to wear shorts for fear of bullying, i.e. the TV helping to bully them out of it by helping to bully any boys stepping out of peer group line. Every showing of Blackadder on TV was a national pogrom, a mass scale endangerment for children an incitement and inflaming of violence in their lives. It gave national TV’s endorsement to real bullies in real schools next day, telling them the victim is the villain and what they will do to the victim is funny.
Blackadder’s endorsement of defining a blamable character fault in the victim on the evidence of what is done to them by others, places it on the same moral level as the Nazi silhouette film that glorified racial violence in the streets. No voice in media or politics has ever spoken out about it in 25 years since it was made, fearful of sounding uncool and getting themselves targetted by the same sort of message. Some of its cast have become multimillionaires. Their fortunes want seizing just like you would seize the proceeds of drug barons, and used to fund work on recovery from bullying.
Agreed, Natalie. I honestly think the problem is pairing up the push to end bullying with the push to make LGBT issues okay. We need to focus on the bullying, not the political issues. Take away the bullying through whatever methods, and in turn people will respect others- no matter their stance on the politics. It is wrong to bully anyone- not just a particular member or group. If we can teach people to accept everyone, then how you view politics surrounding a particular group is a moot point.
Bullying and cyberbullying is constantly going on around us. Our reflexes lead us to passing new laws to crack down on these cyberbullies, etc. However, we need to focus on the preventative side of the issue. Through education and awareness, we can stop the spread of the harmful consequences of bullying. Teaching tolerance and respect at home and at school is just the beginning.