Is Snooping Through Your Hubby’s Facebook Justifiable?

Not long after things between my ex and I fizzled out, I found myself staring at the blank space of the Facebook login screen.

We hadn’t spoken for a while. I had moved a country away, and we weren’t even friends on Facebook anymore. Though it was the last thing I ever wanted him to know, remaining oblivious to what was going on in his life kept me up at night.

What left me staring at the blinking cursor in the “username” space was the realization that I not only knew my ex’s username, but I also remembered his password. I was convinced that the dirty details of his personal life were hiding behind private messages and personal chats.

“Remember this password, Baby,” he said to me one day when I had asked the code to get on his computer for the millionth time. We were both too ridiculously infatuated with each other at the time to even dream that I would ever use his information to conduct an invasion of privacy.

The hesitation only lasted an instant. Then I typed the password as quickly as I could, pretending it wasn’t actually happening or like I could have done it by accident.
The instant I was in and his home page popped up, I realized that I couldn’t do it. Several realizations hit me at once (the idea that maybe I didn’t want to know amongst the strongest).

I signed out with a racing pulse and sweaty palms, deciding to pretend it didn’t happen.

Afterward, I admitted my poor judgement to a close friend. She laughed it off, saying that everyone does it. I thought about that, and realized that I had surely been a part of numerous conversations in which someone admitted to creeping on their loved one’s Facebook page. Or, if not Facebook, their text messages or emails.

Some couples I know give each other their passwords to just about everything, completely giving up their privacy for what they call “trust.”
But the last time I put my trust fully into a partner, it did not mean giving them full access to all my accounts. Is that what trust is supposed to mean? To me, it means having faith in someone without needing that information.

With my relationship with my ex, a considerable amount of trust was lacking. That was what mainly led me to snoop. I wanted to know if anything was kept from me in the past.
Though I couldn’t go through with it, I felt certain I had gotten away with it.

I was not so lucky. My little stint with amateur Facebook hacking came back to bite me in the bum in the form of a phone call from my ex. He informed me of an interesting email he received, notifying him that someone logged into his account from a new computer… in Tampa, Florida.

Updates in Facebook privacy protection blew my cover. Thanks a lot, guys.
I was driven by the suspicion that often follows a relationship. But many are driven by the suspicion that accompanies one. It’s almost like some people want to find something out — at least I know that was the case with me.

Many people justify looking where they ought not to look by what they find, not the invasion of privacy.
Freshman Kathryn Geddes said, “My best friend went through her ex’s email and that’s how she found out he was cheating on her.”

But there are two sides to every story. It isn’t likely you’ll have a huge one-sided opinion on this. A girl who has been cheated on might say, “Yes, it’s one-hundred percent justified,” while a man in love would think there is no need for such treachery.

So snoop if you must, but keep in mind, you might not find what you like.

Hannah Webster can be reached at hannahkarine31@gmail.com.