Society Should Be Kinder When Digesting Vegetarian Lifestyle

According to UrbanDictionary.com a vegetarian is, “Technically a person who eats no meat or dead animal products…. Despite claims to the contrary, most vegetarians are not elitist or prejudiced…. [D]espite that most vegetarians are non-judgmental and aren’t affiliated with PETA in any way, many get a good dose of humor out of bashing them. Presumably because the concept of not eating meat challenges their manhood and they need to defend their metaphorical d— size.”

The second definition is, “A secret underground society that takes pleasure in torturing fruits and vegetables.
They also are trying to monopolize the bottled water market.”

Putting stereotypes of self-righteousness and fanaticism aside, what is it about vegetarians that makes them targets for easy jokes? Most of the ones I know are fairly good-natured about all the jokes, but really.
One of my good friends and roommate, is vegetarian. She told me a story recently of the last time she “cheated” and ate a piece of fish.

That night, she had a dream that she caught a fish, a sort of strange, Elizabeth Bishop-esque nightmare. When she pulled the fish out of the water it was covered in blood and so was she.
I have seen documentaries on slaughterhouses and inhumane living conditions for animals, been preached to by activists and read books on the impact of the cattle industry on America’s agriculture.

Somehow, I still manage to eat meat without too many moral qualms. The information, and the disgust it brings, only has a shelf life of 1-3 days.
However, I’m fairly certain that if I dreamt about killing animals each time that I ate one, I would not find it very funny. I would also immediately stop eating meat.

Being vegetarian is choosing a diet that hugely deviates from most American food norms.
While it is no longer an uncommon practice, it still goes against some of the most basic, nutritional facts we are taught as children. For example, the food pyramid.

Almost every child, at least in the United Sates, sees one by the time that they turn 10 years old. Another example, hamburgers and hot dogs, the stereotypical, “all-American” foods, are hard to go without.

Have you ever asked, or heard someone ask, for a veggie burger at a 4th of July barbecue? Or, for that matter, at any type of cookout? If there are not any, responses range from “Uh, no. How about a hot dog?” to, “No, but there’s fantastic potato salad!”

If the host has been “thoughtful enough” to take into account that there may be a vegetarian guest, it’s even more entertaining. There is a slight contortion of the face, followed by an ill-suppressed sigh.

They will either go, or send someone else to go into the house, and re-emerge ten minutes later patties in hand. Then there is a passive-aggressive apology for taking so long because the veggie burgers are kept at the very back of the fridge. The entire interaction screams, “Look how inconvenient this is for me!”

It’s true. For vegetarians, eating can be inconvenient, especially eating well. I have yet to see a drive-through place that offers anything other than cheese quesadillas or wilted salads, which are, incidentally, what my aforementioned roommate lives on. Most restaurants are not particularly sympathetic either.

I’d like to take a step back and briefly admire the fact that a large group of people regularly navigate through aisles of tempeh and spinach and say, “No meat on that, please.” I would be hungry all the time.

Try it. Eat vegetarian for one day. It’s not easy.
“No. Why? Dude, that’s totally stupid, ” are the thoughts I imagine running through some readers’ minds right now.

Try it, so you can appreciate the time and effort that some people put in to their convictions. A novel idea, I know.

Do it. Suffer through the annoyance of being very hungry when you are out to eat at a place that only has side salads while your friends complain about how full they are from that burger. Experience happiness when you discover how filling avocados are.

Maybe then, you will agree with me when I say that we should be kinder to vegetarians.

Unless, of course, a vegetarian tells you that you are a disgusting human being with no morals for eating meat. In that case, I am a firm advocate of grabbing the most rare piece of steak you can find, introducing it to the individual as “Betsy” and proceeding to make loud “mooing” noises while eating.

Alysia Sawchyn can be reached at asawchyn@spartans.ut.edu.