‘Average’ Senior Bids Farewell to UT: Alyssa Major Says Goodbye

So, I am driving on my way to class and suddenly I remember: I graduate from college next Saturday.

Wow. I feel as if I have spent half my life in college, going to class, writing papers, taking exams, acting in plays and participating in social events.
I can hardly remember what life is like not being in school.

Knowing that I will soon be out of college, ejected into the real world in need of a real job is… scary.
As a freshman, a sophomore and, again, as a junior, I could not wait to graduate.

I thought I would feel ready and excited to start my career. But, in reality, I am kind of nervous.

What if I don’t get hired?

What if they think my writing is horrible?

What if I am never successful?

As all of these questions began to run through my brain.
I began to feel hesitant about graduating and entering “the real world.”

Then I thought, “How am I measuring my success? Is my success going to be based on how ‘successful’ I was at UT?”
I am an average student at the University of Tampa.

Although I have participated in a few clubs and organizations, I have not had any major effect on campus.
I didn’t do any important research, protest any significant cause and I doubt anyone will remember me.

I just went to class and did my work. I was shadow of sorts on campus. Never shining, but always present.

Many times we look at the students who held major leadership positions as being more successful than others and we can practically picture their future outside of UT: the next president, future editor-in-chief of the New York Times, owner of a multi-billion dollar company…

Surely, since they were president of student government or editor in chief of The Minaret they will do great things outside of UT.
But what about the rest of us? All of the “average” students. Where do we fit in? Were we not successful? Did we not do something great?

I may not have starred in a musical or kicked the winning field goal at the soccer game, but I graduated college with over a 3.0 GPA.
I did what some can never do and what many said I couldn’t.

I measure my success by doing the best I can and according to the standards of the people who supported me along the way.
Our success in life can be measured from what we do after we graduate, not necessarily how great we were in college.

I say this not to bash or discredit any of our fantastic student leaders on campus, but to provide encouragement for all the students who were just “average.”
Rate your success, as I did, on what you did outside of school that was successful and prepared you to be able to achieve you will do in the near future.

As I quietly analyzed all of these details in my head I began to feel a since of peace and confidence.
The major mark I have made as not been at UT, but upon myself, my family and friends.

I have the support of a crazy group of friends, a wonderful family, a loving husband and most of all a cheerleader-like mom. I had the kind of mother that supported every dream I had and every decision I made.
When I changed my major from theatre to communication, she was behind me. When I wanted to join a new club, she was behind me.

When I wanted to study abroad, she was behind me every step of the way.
As a teacher, she instilled in me the importance of education and stressed going to college like it was going out of style.

As the youngest of three kids, I am the only one to go to college and graduate.
If I do nothing else, that alone makes me feel like a success.

I was ambitious with big dreams and detailed plans, but she followed me all the way carrying her purse (I needed the money).
As the summer began to wind down and my final semester began to start, all we did was make arrangements and bask in the achievement that lay just down the road.

But a few weeks before the semester started, my mother and three year-old niece were tragically killed in a car accident.
She would never see me graduate.

Never see me walk the stage.
Never cheer my name the audience.

Never embarrass me in front of all my friends with kisses and hugs.
I would never hear her say “Alyssa, I am so proud of you.”

So, as I wrap up my last few assignments, turn in my final projects and prepare for graduation, I not only said goodbye to UT, but good-bye to my mom.
I have no regrets for my time spent here at UT and see every mistake as an experience that forced me to grow.

I will not measure my successes on how many items I have on my curriculum vitea or how many votes I didn’t get because I didn’t run for anything.
I will measure my success in the eyes of the one person who meant the most and knew my potential best: my mom.

My only regret is that my best friend and mother will not be here to share in my big day.
I wish she could be here to see me in my cap and gown, to take pictures of me standing in line, to celebrate with me after. All I can do is wish.

I wish, I wish, I wish… I could have just one more “tomorrow” with my mom.
On Saturday, Dec. 18, when my name is called and I walk across the stage, I won’t think of how scary life might be after or if I ever get a job; I am already a success.

All I will say is, “I did it, mom!”

Alyssa Major can be reached at amhoward@spartans.ut.edu.