In light of the mid-term elections, I figured it was an appropriate time to address a national issue that most people don’t like to talk about or even acknowledge.
The issue I’m referring to is that most other countries don’t like America and many of the decisions our country has made. As much as you can try to deny it, it’s true. Many people in other countries have negative stereotypes about Americans, and with good reason.
To help you understand what I’m talking about, look at the whole world as if it is a high school and every country is a different student. Before we get to the US, let’s go look at a few other students.
Japan is the kid who always has the newest technology way before anyone else in school. But none of the other kids really care about what Japan has until USA gets it too. Then it really becomes cool. Japan is the kid everyone else is trying to cheat off of. He always gets the best test scores and works harder than anyone else.
Whereas the US is the kid who won’t except that and swears to everybody that he is in fact the smartest and hardest-working kid in school.
Back in middle school, Japan decided they were tired of how the USA was acting, so they took a cheap shot at him in the hallway. The next day, USA broke into Japan’s house and hit him in the face with a baseball bat. They haven’t had problems since.
England is the USA’s preppy friend who always tries to calm him down when he gets too excited. England always swears he’s got USA’s back, but when s— really goes down, England is nowhere to be found. England’s a few years older than USA and used to be the cool kid in school until USA showed up. Then all the attention shifted from England to USA.
They’re still pretty good friends, but USA really can’t understand England’s obsession with soccer.
Russia seems to scare a lot of students because his accent always makes him sound like he’s pissed off. At any time during the day he can be seen drinking Vodka in the bathroom. He wears a wife-beater to school every day.
When it gets cold the only thing that changes is he starts wearing a giant furry hat. USA and Russia used to contend for the title of “toughest kid in school” and would often threaten each other to prove just how tough they could be, but in the end nothing happened. Now Russia and USA kind of just stay out of each other’s way.
Finally we come to the US. He’ll show up to school late wearing his letter man jacket and sunglasses. He’s the biggest, strongest kid in school and by far the best athlete on every team. Anytime someone bumps into USA in the hallway, his first response is, “What the f—’s wrong with you?” He gets in people’s faces and threatens them until they back away.
USA comes from a wealthy family and loves to show off to other countries just how wealthy they are by rubbing it in every one’s face. The only problem is USA’s family has spent so much money and gotten themselves in so much debt that they had to ask China’s family for help.
USA is convinced that he’s the coolest kid in school, but in reality most of the other kids hate him. They just don’t have the courage to say anything to him because they know no other country would back them up. USA has repeatedly been sent to the principal’s office (the U.N.) for picking on Iraq and Afghanistan, but continues to insist that those two have been threatening him and keep weapons in their lockers.
The school has done numerous searches, but continues to find nothing in Iraq and Afghanistan’s lockers, which makes US look like a jerk.
But once again, no other students are going to say anything to US.
You have to admit that there may be some reasons for the rest of the world to hate us. Even if you think it’s just because “the rest of the world is jealous.” Yes, that is partly true and part of what leads to the negative stereotypes. Other countries are jealous of how much the USA has and they end up hating us because of how we use it.
Just look at TV shows like The Biggest Loser. In our country we have so much affordable food that one of our biggest problems is not dying from obesity due to lack of self control.
We have so much great tasty food we can’t help but continue stuffing our faces until our hearts stop. Talk about real universal problems. Am I right, rest of the world?
John Jacobs can be reached at jjacobs@spartans.ut.edu.
Agreed- kind of a stretch.
I suggest that the writer of this article avail himself of the various history-focused classes offered at the university. This mish-mosh of brat-pack movie themes and naive geopolitics so vastly oversimplifies the modern world one would think it was either a satire of a poorly written essay or that the author is historically illiterate.
Unfortunately, I do believe that it isn’t the former.