Recently, I got into an argument with one of my friends from high school. It seems that, even though we both think of ourselves as being feminists, each of us has a different definition of the word.
In a previous article, I explored how the idea of “freedom” for women has changed in the last century, and nowadays we are slaves to societal standards.
Sadly, women have lost their essence. Most women fight for an idea of “equality” that pretends to fit men’s standards. “If men can do this and that, why can’t we?”
But, how accurate is this? Do we really need to claim our freedom by doing all that men do? Certain women believe that the right thing to do is to compete against men. So, if they smoke we should smoke too; if men hook-up, maybe we should hook-up too. After all, if men are doing it, it has to be good, right?
There is nothing wrong with women going to school and getting a degree. There is also nothing wrong in women having a job. What is wrong is not being able to make equilibrium between career and family.
Family life has been underrated to the point that some women feel ashamed to stay at home or to be a housewife. It’s even described as slavery. By taking care of your family and children, you are being submissive.
I always get looked down by other women when I say that I want to stop working when I have my first child, and I get called names like “soccer mom” or “retrograde.” I don’t take it as an insult; I just take it like a sign of ignorance.
The reason why I would like to stop working when I have my children is because I understand how important I’m going to be for my kids.
The most important thing for me while I was growing up, was to know that my mom was there for me when I got back home and during holidays. I knew that whenever volunteer parents were required for any activity, my mom would be there, away from me, but offering her time and services.
My mom never felt she missed out on something by not working. And I admire her for choosing us over her career. I never felt ashamed of her, all the opposite, I will always be very proud for what she did.
Women hold the most important role in society. We are the ones who give life and are therefore responsible for the perpetuation of the species. And, as if it wasn’t enough, most of the time, it is the duty of women to raise the future citizens and ensure the progression of an upright society.
Not everyone acknowledges and values this responsibility beginning with women themselves. The reason why many women would rather go to work for hours and hours rather than stay at home is because they don’t understand how important they are to society.
Of course, I’m not talking about single mothers, or those mothers who need to work hard in order to provide a better future for their families.
I’m talking about women that put work before family. It’s pretty common nowadays to find women who, having the chance to spend more time with their children, prefer work and career-oriented pursuits.
Women under appreciate and underestimate their importance in society. We are equal to men in rights, but that doesn’t mean that we are the same as men in every other aspect. Without going too far, from an anatomical point of view, we are different.
We are not better or worse than men; we’re just different. Whether that’s a good thing or not depends on nobody but women. But, let’s put it this way: no matter what one’s job (either men or women) is, the hard truth is that there will always be someone able to do the exact same job just as good or better than you.
But, when a mother is not at home, you can ask her children if their teacher, their nanny, their grandma or any other women will ever take that place. Now, does that mean that women can’t go to school or to college or even to work? Not at all. It just means that women have the added responsibility of managing their time and keeping their priorities. After all, what other job gives you the chance to raise and therefore change society?
Carolina Medelin can be reached at colaya@ut.edu.
I´m a mother and i´m working. In my opinion, i can change the world if i do that i want, and i have the same opportunities than men have. Childcare is not only a mother task; on the contrary, when man is involve in the childcare we can talk about equality or social change. Your opinion is pretty conservative, women have been struggle for decades in order to get this kind of equality so why is incompatible work and rising children? do you want to change the world,fight to have the same time for your children and work and earn in that job would pay the same as a man. sorry for my english i´m from Spain.