In this society we tend to hear about how women are abused by men. It’s all over the place; in news, in movies, books, sitcoms and even on campus, we just had a domestic violence month dedicated to stopping domestic violence against women.
All that is well and good, and I understand the importance of that cause. However I still believe that it’s biased for society to focus on domestic violence only in the case of women.
Today, American women possess so much power in that respect, all a woman has to say is a man beat her and he’s carted off to prison. No one asks him his side of the story.
As far as society is concerned, the man is the aggressor; he’s scum and should be punished. Look at the way that they treated Chris Brown after his incident with Rihanna; it was complete pandemonium. He became a villain in the eyes of the nation overnight. No one even asked what part she had to play in what transgressed that night, had she been verbally abusing him?
Had she been hitting him, knocking him over the head, smacking him? If Rihanna had been the one who had been beating Chris, would people have reacted in such an uproar? I doubt it. I think they would have plastered it all over the tabloids and laughed. The message sent is this: when a man beats a woman he is a vile excuse for a human being. But when a woman beats a man it’s comedy central and all the videos are posted up on Youtube so everyone can have a good laugh.
When did this society develop such double standards when it came to abuse? Abuse is abuse. It doesn’t matter who’s doing it to whom, society should always have sympathy for the victim not subject them to ridicule because of their sex. The rights women have to protect them against abuse have been projected into the stratosphere, to the point that the men are left with barely any rights at all.
Where’s the equality between the sexes? Where’s the justice?
Ever since we were young, we were always raised to believe that boys do not cry, that boys cannot be victims and that to be a victim is to be weak. What they taught us was wrong; sometimes the prince isn’t always strong, sometimes he too cries, sometimes he too is trapped and scared. And, as a society, what do we do? Cast him aside. Yet if he were a woman we would embrace him.
We should foster a society that when the person you love is hurting you, you can admit it without fear of ridicule or rejection. When your girlfriend verbally abuses you, constantly checks your phone or beats you, it’s abuse. When she tries to control your life, degrades you in front of your friends, scorns you every time you try to do something with your life or withholds affection as a form of punishment, it’s abuse! Don’t sit there and “take it like a man.” Report it. Society needs to abandon its hypocrisy and see that there is never just one victim when it comes to domestic abuse. It has to start here.
Stop abuse for all people, not just women.
Philippa Hatnedi can be reached at phatendi@ut.edu.