When I came to UT and saw the construction site, I didn’t think about what it was or how long it would take to build. It’s now been a semester and a half and ten beams are sticking out of the ground.

Yay!

Progress!

When I realized we were building a chapel, I started to think about what that would mean for the school.

We’re now going to have a place on campus where people can go celebrate whatever their religious affiliation is.
Sounds reasonable.

Then I thought: ‘Isn’t there a church like right down the street from here?”

Then I got online and figured some stuff out that didn’t make me happy.’ There are nine churches within one half mile of our campus!

Don’t worry Jews; I didn’t forget you’mdash;there are also nine temples within 3 miles of our campus!

I thought: ‘Ok, we have plenty of temples and churches around our school; maybe ‘chapel’ carries the connotation of more than one religion.’ So I searched for chapels, and guess how many there are within a 4-mile radius of our campus?

There are nine. (I think it has something to do with Google limiting the amount of results at a time. But that doesn’t matter!) ‘ ‘ ‘

Then I figured this must have something to do with John Sykes’mdash;the giant round building and business school John Sykes.

The way I see it, the administrators took a trip to John Sykes castle (in my head he lives in a castle, humor me), knocked on his giant golden door and begged him for money.

After the butler leads them to Sykes’s throne room.
He’s sitting on a diamond-covered throne; probably eating something that looks really bad, but it’s expensive so they’re impressed. Then our administrators come face to face with ‘The Sykes.’

‘We’re thinking about building something next to your beautiful business school building and were wondering if you would make a donation? As usual, we’ll name it after you.’

Now I don’t know what would be going through Sykes’s head, but I believe he answered: ‘I want a chapel.’

‘You want a chapel?’

‘Yes, a chapel! Now here’s money. Go build it!’

‘The Sykes’ then proceeds to throw a Louis Vuitton duffel bag full of one million one dollar bills at them and tells them to get out.

Wonderful!

It’s not like our school could have done anything else with the money like build a new dorm to replace ‘the ghetto’ (Mckay) or expand the gym.

I’m not saying that a chapel is useless, but does the University really need its own private chapel?

Also does it really kill people to walk 2 blocks worship?

It’s not like God had to suffer to get anything done (this applies to most religions).

‘Walk 2 blocks on Sunday morning to save my soul? Sorry soul looks like you’re being damned! Maybe if we had a chapel on campus I would save you. Thank you John Sykes!’

John Jacobs may be reached at jjacobs@ut.edu.

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