Is it okay to say?
Who can say it?
Am I “cool” enough with my black friends to say it?
Why is it okay for African Americans to say it to each other but nobody else can?
Let me tell you something straight to the point, as clean cut as I can put it: I am African American; I do not think it is okay to use the n-word, I do not use it nor will I ever use that term to refer to any of my fellow African Americans for whom I have deep respect. Lastly I do not use the word in the privacy of my home, because if I did I would have a scornful hand coming at my face before the word even left my mouth.
The fact of the matter is that ignorance is alive and well in America and it may be even closer than you think. I learned that hard lesson today while trying to help a fellow classmate with a biology assignment. While we were working, he put on music that happened to be a hip-hop song that used the n-word.
I asked him if he had anything without the n-word in it and he asked me if I listened to hip-hop. “Yes,” I said and I told him that I only buy the edited versions sans that racial slur. He responded with nonsense about “not being in the fifth grade anymore.” He tried to support his argument by saying, “Well it’s a black guy saying it to another black guy,” and that, “The word just slips right by me how do you even notice it?”
Those comments cut me the deepest.
Let me tell you where I come from. I come from a household of two parents who grew up in the heat of the Civil Rights movement and were in Memphis when Dr. King was assassinated. They were there when blacks were openly called n-words, when we could not try on clothing in stores but whites could, when blacks couldn’t go to the same stores as whites, let alone even use the same water fountains, when blacks and whites could not go to school together and when they thought that African Americans were not even capable of learning.
In fact, my father told me stories about his experiences of open racism as a teenager growing up during the Civil Rights movement. During a celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King’s life at his school following his murder, all of the white teachers filed out of the assembly hall and simply quit their jobs – in front of the children.
I guess it would be easy for the word to “just slip by” if you don’t know the history of the word, simply don’t care or if you have not been called the n-word from a place of hate. My parents have and my grandparents have; I have, and my children will be also if we do not take the right actions to stop this ignorance right now.
Stop using the word! It’s ignorant and deeply offensive.
Now I’m sure a majority of readers are probably saying “why can’t they just get over it? Racism is gone.” I have gotten over the ordeal when I was called an n-word, but whenever people use it, the situation opens old wounds that have every right to be where they are. I am African American and damned proud of it, so don’t ask me to get over the pride I have for my culture.
I WILL NOT “GET OVER” MY PRIDE.
If racism is gone then tell my why, at this school, my old roommate told me a certain neighborhood in her city had so much crime because of all of the black people who lived there?
I would be lying if I said ignorance pertaining to the slur is limited to those outside my race. African Americans have some work to do as well; like leaving the word out of our songs, not using a word that was used to oppress our race along with many other efforts. But I have one more argument to discuss: “Well, it’s just a word”.
It’s a word with a hell of a lot of history behind it, and there are a lot of “words” that people would never use in a professional environment or try to justify using. I would never use a racial slur to refer to blacks, whites, Asians or anyone, because there is no justification for ignorance and prejudice.
Ignorance, racism, prejudice; that’s what you need to get over.
No one will ever be “cool” enough with me to use the word without me taking offence. But it’s like Plato’s famous “Allegory of the Cave.” I can talk all I want about not using the n-word but I cannot save you from your ignorance if you have it.
You have to stop you from using the n-word, or any racial slur, for that matter.
You learn the history of the word, where it originated, why it was used and tell me once you see the pictures of lynch mobs calling blacks n-words while hanging them from trees if it’s okay to use it. Have enough pride in yourself, whatever race you might be, as well as pride in other cultures to not put others down with hateful words.
Only you can pull yourself out of the darkness and see the light.
Happy Black History Month.