You know, it’s those Mac-Gray machines that are the real crooks anyway. — At 3:30 p.m. on Sept. 10, UT Security responded to a theft of money in the Vaughn Center. Upon arrival of Security, the laundry card recharging machine was found pried open with money removed.

It’s in the bag. — At 10:23 p.m. on Sept. 10, UT Security was contacted to report a missing book bag in Stadium Center. Later, the book bag was turned in at the lobby desk.

The bike burglar’s bumbling apprentice? — At 4:20 p.m. on Sept. 11, UT Security was contacted in reference to a male trying to remove a bicycle from a room in Straz Hall. Security received a description of the individual and reviewed the cameras. The individual was not found.

Wah, wah, wahhhhhhh … — At 3:15 p.m. on Sept. 12, UT Security was contacted in reference to a student scammed out of money near Stadium Center. Student stated he was approached by two individuals in a vehicle to buy a stereo.

Must have been quite a slip! — At 9:10 a.m. on Sept. 12, UT Security responded to a slip and fall injury in Plant Hall. Upon arrival of Security, student was transported to the health center and later to the hospital for further diagnosis.

Wait, wait, wait … a drug violation somewhere besides Austin or Smiley? — At 4:00 p.m. on Sept. 12, UT Security responded to a call of possible drug violations in Brevard Hall. Upon arrival, a room search was conducted and drugs were discovered. Student will be referred to the Conduct Board.

They put them thar locks on th’ doors fer a reason! — At 4:15 p.m. on Sept. 12, UT Security was called to report the theft of computer software from a room in Stadium Center. Student stated she purchased the software and left it in her unlocked room. Later, she discovered it missing.

Elevated Threat — At 8:00 p.m. on Sept. 12, UT Security responded to a call of a person trapped in an elevator in Austin Hall. Upon arrival, security and a facilities employee attempted to free the trapped student. Security contacted the Tampa fire department. The student was freed from the elevator unharmed.

They were plastic?! Aw, man, the guy told me they were platinum … — At 1:45 a.m. on Sept.14, UT Security was contacted to report theft of four plastic wheel covers from a vehicle in the Thomas Parking Garage.

Wild Ride — At 12:13 p.m. on Sept. 14, UT Security was dispatched in reference to an injury in the McNiff Fitness Center. Upon arrival of Security, it was determined that a UT Staff member was injured while riding a stationary bike.

Just kidding! — At 6:38 p.m. on Sept. 14, UT Security was contacted regarding an incident in Straz Hall. Report was withdrawn by the caller.

Good Riddance! — At 1:20 a.m. on Sept.15, UT Security responded to a call of assistance from an officer assigned to Kennedy Place. Upon arrival, Security determined the officer was requesting an id from a non-student. Tampa police department arrived and issued a trespass. The non-student was escorted off campus.

Eh, they were a couple of duds, anyway. — At 10:25 a.m. on Sept.15, UT Security observed a male carrying two “real-looking” shotguns on campus. The officer questioned the individual, who stated he wanted to have them appraised at the antique show at Plant Hall. The individual was escorted back to his vehicle and left campus.