Magically Suspicious — At 3:15 p.m. on March 17, UT Security was contacted in regards to a leprechaun on campus. Upon arrival, a leprechaun was discovered, but before he could be apprehended, he vanished into the rainbow, chuckling about his pot of gold. Students were referred to the Judicial Board for harassing mystical creatures, and the leprechaun was issued a trespass from campus.

Ehh … why not? — At 7:15 p.m. on March 19, UT Security decided to randomly choose 50 vehicles to be towed from campus. Towing company was contacted, and offending vehicles were impounded.

UTSO Blue — At 2:45 p.m. on March 20, Security engaged with an exciting shoot-out with a drug dealer in Straz Hall. Half of the residence hall was destroyed, but no one was hurt or killed. The drug dealer was escorted to the Security office and referred to the Judicial Board.

Insurgency — At 9:57 p.m. on March 25, a Security golf cart was firebombed by student insurgents from McKay Hall. ROTC Cadets responded and apprehended one insurgent, who was summarily detained in the Jaeb Computer Center for questioning.

Gimme All Your Spartan Dollars! — At 8 p.m. on March 26, Security was dispatched to handle an agitated student who attempted to hold up the Spartan Store with various weapons from the Spartan Club arcade.