- Stereotypes have a negative influence in society, and we at The Minaret will not stand for them. Some bigots think that all Arabs are walking around with bombs strapped to them. That’s just a ridiculous generalization. For example, a woman was recently searched at a checkpoint on the Gaza-Egypt border because officials were under the hurtful impression that she was carrying a bomb, when in actuality she was merely carrying three live crocodiles strapped to her torso! Yes, the woman had three 16-inch crocodiles wrapped around her waist. Apparently she was attempting to bring back the chastity belt . . . watch out, it bites!
- A brothel in Germany recently announced they will give a 50 percent discount for anyone 66 or older. Their advertisement declares that ‘life begins at 66’ with a picture of a motorcycle rider. Apparently, German seniors are in for the ride of their lives! Immediately, the brothel’s customer base rose 20 percent. It is worth noting that the discount is only good from noon to 5 p.m., thus confirming the ancient elderly adage that ‘the early bird gets the worm.’
- At the other end of the sexual spectrum, the Supreme Court is going to decide the constitutionality of a law that would criminalize talking about illegal images. The issue arose out of a case in Florida where a man was convicted for promoting child pornography on the internet. Thus, instead of filing large law briefs, the Supreme Court will now be ruling on small Spiderman and Batman briefs.
- A conservative Jewish seminary recently OK’ed the entrance of gay students into its midst. Reaction from the community has, however, been mixed. ‘The administration is a buncha schmucks!’ roared one parent. ‘They want our children to be exposed to this stuff? Oy vay!” A community mother agreed: ‘These men like to take each udda in deh tookus! D’oh jeeze!’ In defense of the school’s decision, the head Rabbi pled the Jewish community’s need to catch up to its religious competitors in recruitment of outcast groups. ‘Not only should we be accepting gay students, but we should immediately be placing them in positions of leadership,’ the Rabbi explained. ‘Then we should expand and cater to the pedophiles as well, though we have a long way to go to catch up to the Catholics.’