Speak love, improve your relationship

By Emily Banaitis

Valentine’s Day, the day dedicated to chocolates, roses, and “I love yous. It’s” a day where people can celebrate the ones they love and shout it for the world to hear. Have you ever had the chance to sit down and think about love language and how it transcends from couple to couple? Love language is dynamic and different for each couple especially for the two couples featured in this article.

There are five different types of love languages. Words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. The idea behind love language is by knowing what yours and your partner’s love languages are, it can help you two understand and grow more in your relationship.

For example, if a person shows love through physical touch, that means they love getting hugs, holding hands, etc with their partner. That person’s partner might feel different and would rather  show him or her love through words of affirmation, (I’m proud of you, you are appreciated, I love you), just to name a few. Couples are better able to understand one another and be able to show affection instead of feeling like they aren’t being acknowledged by the other. 

“For me, it’s just the small things like even going to get food at the dining hall and taking it back here or going to get gas together is fun,” said Lilia Buccino, a sophomore at the University of Tampa. “Just also spending random time together has brought us closer for sure,” said Gus Kushnir a sophomore at UT. Gus and Lilia have been together for around seven months. 

For some couples, affection is shown one way. For others though, the way in which their love language works is through a mix of all five. 

“Maybe like a mix of them? It’s not just one, it’s the I love you like the hugs and all kind of like that stuff, it’s not just one,” said  Emma Bradtmiller, a sophomore at UT.

“Yeah, I think it’s a combination and I also think it depends on like the mood that each person is in and kind of how you approach them,” said Dylan Clark, also a sophomore at UT. Both Emma and Dylan have been dating for around five years. 

While knowing what your love language is helps couples, there is still a bit of debate within the relationship community on whether or not it is proven to work. 

The love languages, while popular, have not received a lot of positive attention from the relationship science community. They aren’t a typology that has received a great deal of empirical support,” said Deletha Hardin, UT associate professor of psychology. 

Understanding love languages and how it can help a relationship, whether or not it actually works, is still a great thing to know. I actually got the opportunity to take a quiz and I found out my love language is physical touch and quality time, so if you want to learn more about love languages and maybe even find out your type check out 5lovelanguages.com.

Emily Banaitis can be reached at emily.banaitis@spartans.ut.edu

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