Utterly heartbroken.” An accurate description of the millions of fans and friends of the late and great Robin Williams. Two words, spoken by his grieving widow, summarize the tragic death of such a widely loved man who suffered from a deep depression. Countless celebrities chose social media to display their mourning, and talk show hosts held one to two hour specials in celebration of his spectacular life. Millions of people throughout the world set up personalized memorials in honor of Williams and his great works. The largest outpouring of fans since the death of Whitney Houston continue to grieve for the actor that brought so many laughs for so many years.
The American people fe el like they have lost a close family member, rather than the actor they never met face to face. It’s an interesting phenomenon that has taken hold of our hearts. When Heath Ledger passed away in 2008, the public went into a state of shock. He was in the middle of filming The Dark Knight, a movie that would’ve been a huge milestone in his career, but instead ended in tragedy. Michael Jackson’s death had the world upset for years, causing movies and tours in tribute to his musical legacy. Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death in February caused widespread anger at the senselessness of the loss of such a great man. We felt that it was a personal blow.
Why is this? How have these celebrities been able to become such large parts of our lives? We welcome someone into our homes and families without fully realizing what we are doing, that we are forming close attachments with complete strangers. We laugh and cry with them through our screens. They are no longer strangers to us, but our family.
One answer is simple. Movies, television, and music have been our sources of entertainment for decades, and it has become a regular part of our daily lives. After a long day at work, the first thing we do is turn on the TV and let actors and actresses preoccupy us from taking the trash out or doing homework. America’s favorite pastime is not baseball: it’s going to the movies. The entertainment industry has seriously raised the bar for fantastic storylines, acting, and melodies that we eat right up.
Another reason is slightly more complicated. While we’re engrossing ourselves in whatever television show we’re watching or album we’re listening to, a secret part of us wishes we were in their shoes. We wonder silently, “what if I was as talented, or as handsome as that guy?” We emulate actors and actresses, dress like them, do as they do. Some obsess over them, imagine having sex with them, or what it would be like to be their best friend. They become something completely personal to us. Our individual fantasy.
There are other psychological reasons behind this grief. Alan Hilfer, chief of psychology at Maimonides Medical Center in New York told New York Magazine “obsessive grieving over a celebrity often ties into grieving, processed or not, for someone we are actually close to.” A grandmother dies, and a few weeks later her grandchildren are obsessing over the death of a celebrity. For some people, it’s how they grieve. This kind of grieving can also potentially pose a dangerous problem, especially in the case of suicide. People who suffer from behavioral problems like bipolar disorder or depression witness celebrity suicides and could possibly think that it’s an acceptable way to escape.
The reasons behind our personal relationships with celebrities doesn’t diminish the horrible sorrow we still feel. Discovering Robin Williams had suffered from depression and eventually sucumbed to it was still heart wrenching to even the most unaffected movie-goer. A man we thought would be around forever to make us laugh was ripped from our lives so suddenly and in such a tragic way. America lost a piece of our family on August 14, 2014.
“There’s minor comfort in knowing our grief and loss, in some small way, is shared with millions,” said Williams’ daughter, Zelda Williams, in her statement released to the public, “It doesn’t help the pain, but at least its a burden countless others now know we carry, and so many have offered to help lighten the load. Thank you for that.”