In my Communication and Law class last week, we were waiting for another stimulating lecture to begin. We weren’t subjected to a lecture but we did have to listen to a guest speaker. Most UT students know that when your class has a guest speaker you probably aim to use your one of you allowed absences, if you still have any left at the beginning of April. My three absences had been long gone so I was stuck. I had to go.
I was expecting another legal mind to come in to our class and bore us with weird legal terms like jurisprudence or de minimus, which are now a regular part of my vocabulary.
To my surprise, our guest speaker was Wayne Garcia, a journalist who works for the weekly publication Creative Loafing. He gave us a crash course in searching public records, a useful tool to an aspiring journalist.
You’d be safe to say my attention was grabbed. With all due respect to Mr. Garcia the lecture was, well, a lecture. I was falling back into a haze when he began pulling up websites, which you could check out mug shots of people arrested within the last six months in Hillsborough County.
First, we checked out Tampa’s bundle of joy, Ms. Jessica Sierra. After her American Idol run ended, Sierra began an impressive run of run-ins with the law, stemming from drug possession to disorderly conduct.
After we finished looking at mug shots, we started checking out the property appraiser’s website. It was a pseudo-cribs episode.
Class ended and I began thinking about all the local athletes that hail from Tampa: Doc Gooden, Garry Sheffield, Tino Martinez, and Lou Pineilla. Then I started thinking about all the athletes who play for the Bay Area pro-sports team. They have to live in Tampa, right?
So here it comes: the stalker’s guide to finding your favorite Tampa Bay athlete.
Ok, so there are some rules to the guide that I must tell you about. I’ll use the lingo I’ve picked up in COM 327.
Camping, of any variety, on property of athlete shall not be permitted.
Shrines are an infringement of privacy and shall not be permitted.
Don’t be a jerk. If you don’t like the athlete, keep it to yourself.
It gets broken down into three categories: Tampa Bay Rays, Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Other Notables. I would include the Lightning, but I don’t know anyone on the team. If you do, search on your own.
Tampa Bay Rays
B.J. Upton- You’ll have to use his real name, Melvin Emanuel Upton to find it but he’s living large out on Harbour Island in a three bedroom, two and a half bathroom, and three story townhouse. $350,000 market value.
Scott Kazmir- He is also out on Harbour Island in a two bedroom, two bathroom, and two story condominium. $260,000 market value.
Sweet living for two of baseball’s hottest young players. Just wait until they get paid.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Ronde Barber- Use his real name, Jamael Oronde Barber, and you’ll find his sweet multi-million dollar mansion in Odessa. Four bedrooms and six bathrooms. $1.8 million value.
Jon Gruden- Chucky has two homes listed in Hillsborough County. Both of course are million dollar mansions. One in Carrollwood that has five bedrooms and five bathrooms. $1.7 million market value. The other one in Avila area that has five bedrooms and four and a half bathrooms. $1.8 million market value.
Carnell “Cadillac” Williams- The number five pick in 2005 has two houses listed as well. One is a mansion in the same neighborhood as teammate Ronde Barber, only Williams has one less bedroom and one less bathroom. $1.2 million market value. The other is a town home that also lists Michael Clayton on the title. $200,000 market value.
George Steinbrenner- The Boss’s mansion is near Palma Ceia Golf Course. Seven bedrooms and nine and a half bathrooms. God I wish I owned the Yankees. $4.1 million value.
Tino Martinez- Tino lives out on Davis Island. You’ll find him under his real name Constantino Martinez. His luxurious house on DI has six bedrooms and eight and a half bathrooms. $4.5 million value. God I wish I played for the Yankees.
Gary Sheffield- Sheff lives out on Harbour Island. His house has five bedrooms and four and a half bathrooms. $1.2 million value.