I’ve never been much of a positive person; I always thought people who are happy all the time were sort of disturbing.
Not much has really changed, but I realized that in this culture people care too much when things don’t go well.
They forget to look on the positive side when negative things happen and instead allow the well of negativity to swallow them.
They wallow in misery much longer than necessary, which prevents them from recovering, from seeing the bright side to their situation.
Grief is understandable and relieving. It is not inherently bad.
In fact, it’s therapeutic to allow yourself to reach rock bottom for a couple of hours when you get back your mathematics test and realize that you have failed yet again.
Or when you realize that your relationship is going down the toilet and needs to be flushed.
Or someone doesn’t kick the winning goal and your team doesn’t win the big game.
The problem is, some people stay there a lot more than I would have ever expected.
The implication in this society seems to be that if you have failed, you have failed, and you’re the proverbial loser thus the level of negativity ends up being disproportionate to the event that caused it.
It is true that people cope with things in different ways, depending on how important something is to the individual.
Except in order to progress, the same rule is true for everyone: you must regain your positive attitude in order to move forward.
Back home, people don’t really have time to focus on failure because there is always so much more going on in life.
If something doesn’t go well, it’s a shame and it’s too bad, but as long as you did your best there will always be other opportunities to do better.
And if there are not, you will create them. This is not only applicable to our attitudes toward school, but our attitudes towards other endeavors in life.
You should never forsake your talent and your will to continue doing your best because of failure.
In life there will always be pitfalls, but no progress was ever made in remaining in the pits of failure.
It is important to find the positive side in all negative situations, and don’t allow yourself to think there isn’t one because there always is a positive side.
So you failed your math test, there’s three more left and thus three more chances to work toward improving yourself. And your relationship crashes and burns, thank goodness you survived the wreckage and love is still out there waiting for you.
I mean, even in the grimmest situations like breaking your leg, at least the other one is still working.
Maybe I just take things too lightly. But it’s always said that it’s better to go after the greener pastures, rather than staying in the one you’re at.
Life is never at a standstill, and thus life will not always be a composition of failure, regret and disappointment though fate has sprinkled that in some places.
You mustn’t lose perspective in the face of all the negativity and sadness.
Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, and are able to show you the positive side of bad situations even when you can’t see it for yourself!
For if you don’t, life ends up being very disappointing because bad things (on differing scales) happen every day.
The important thing is summed up in these wise words from Bobby McFerrin, “In every life we have some trouble, but when you worry you make it double. So don’t worry, be happy!”
So stop worrying, it’ll get better.
Philippa Hatendi can be reached at phatendi@ut.edu.