“On Valentine

There will be happy couples everywhere.

Finally, for one blessed day (if they’re lucky), loved ones aren’t fighting.

They’re too busy rubbing noses, holding hands and all those other sappy gestures.

I hate Valentine’s Day.

I’ve been consistently single on Valentine’s Day for at least the past four years.

Thank goodness this year Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday, so I can feel lonely all day instead of just after classes.

Luckily, as an experienced single girl on this day of love, I’ve got a few wonderful pointers for those who are spending the day without a significant other.

Go spend money on yourself. You’re worth it, and if no one else will you should.

Then you can feel independent and assure yourself that you don’t need a man.

I find dropping at least $200 at Victoria’s Secret for the holiday always makes me feel better. (Oops, that was my whole paycheck).

You should plan a dinner date with some of your single girlfriends, too.

Now, you’re here to have intelligent conversations; treat yourselves and let each other know you don’t need men in your lives, just keep in mind that you should probably take a cab.

In my experience, girlfriends sometimes manage to drink their loneliness away and accidentally find themselves plastered.

Speaking of getting plastered, avoid any alcoholic drink that makes you emotional.

You never know when that bottle of red wine might turn into someone crying about their middle school boyfriend, segueing into a painful rendition of ‘Cupid’ by 112 because it was the first song they danced to.

I’d suggest tequila or rum’mdash;you’ll more likely be dancing to the ‘Cupid Shuffle’ on top of a bar.

On that note, stop in bars or clubs. Don’t go anywhere romantic. Don’t go anywhere where you might see happy couples.

Surround yourselves with lots of other single, lonely people.

There will be plenty of men out who are looking for your type on Valentine’s Day’mdash;the single girl who has had a couple beers and could potentially ‘fall in love ‘in about an hour.’

Buy Ben and Jerry’s ice cream; it’s a must have on this holiday.
I would go for anything with the word brownie, peanut butter or fudge’mdash;any flavor should do the trick.

As far as how to end your wild night’hellip;well that’s up to you.
One more tip ladies: there are great deals on vibrating goods that may come of use.

You don’t have to end up lonely.

There’s always that guy from the bar. He was kind of cute.Then again, maybe it’s just time to go home.

You had a wonderful day with Jose and the Captain and Ben and Jerry. Maybe those are all the men you need in your life.

Anne Napatalung may be reached at anapatalung@ut.edu.

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