Too bad the sprinkler went off last week. At 3:10 p.m. on Feb. 4, UT Security responded to an electrical room fire alarm in the Martinez Sports Center. Upon arrival, Tampa fire rescue and facilities were on scene and reported that a transformer had blown out and was smoking.

Where are all these buildings I’ve never heard of before? At 9:42 p.m. on Feb. 4, UT Security received a report of a damaged door in the Edison Building.

The “items” thief returns! At 12:50 a.m. on Feb. 6, UT Security was contacted in reference to missing items from a Vaughn Center room.

So you steal a golf cart, drive it to Bayshore, leave it and… walk back?! At 3:40 a.m. on Feb. 7, UT Security received a call of a golf cart missing from Straz Hall. Tampa police called to inform security the cart was on Bayshore Blvd. The golf cart was returned to campus.

I don’t… yeah, go ahead and insert your own funny headline here. At 12:45 p.m. on Feb. 7, UT Security responded to a report of a student acting irrational in the Vaughn Center. Upon arrival, security spoke to student and generated this report for information.

That’s what you get for parking over the line! At 7:57 p.m. on Feb. 4, UT Security was notified of a vehicle’s tire that was slashed near the Walker Hall parking lot.

In disarray?! Those bastards! At 4:39 pm on Feb. 7, UT Security was contacted regarding a Straz Hall room in disarray. Upon arrival, student stated nothing was missing at this time.

What are you talking about? I’m fi – BLARRGHH! At 2:00 a.m. on Feb. 8, UT Security responded to a call of an intoxicated student in the Vaughn Center. Upon arrival, Security contacted 911 to evaluate the student. EMS responded and determined it was necessary to transport the student to the hospital. Student will be referred to the judicial board.

Caution, wet floor. At 9:30 a.m. on Feb. 8, UT Security was contacted in reference to a slip and fall near the Riverside Center.

This is why you shouldn’t help anyone, ever. At 1:00 p.m. on Feb. 8, UT Security referred a UT Student to the Conduct Board for violation of Article 5, compliance with directives; an unregistered student was using another student’s parking decal.

I bet they were just hungry too, right? At 3:50 a.m. on Feb. 9, UT Security observed a student passed out near Brevard Hall. Fire rescue arrived on scene and transported student to the hospital for treatment.

Lost and found. At 10:40 a.m. on Feb. 9, UT Security was contacted to report a missing wallet with a key attached in Stadium Center. The key was left in the lock of the door. Later, student informed security the items were returned.

SWAT kicks don’t always work, bro. At 4:30 p.m. on Feb. 9, UT Security was contacted in reference to a damaged door in Straz Hall that could not be be locked. Security contacted the facilities department to repair the door.

An accident in West? But that’s the ideal parking environment! At 5:20 p.m. on Feb. 10, UT Security was contacted by two students that witnessed a motor vehicle accident in the West Parking Garage. After viewing the vehicles, security contacted the owners.