Do you think alcohol was involved? Nah… — At 3:25 a.m. on Dec. 2, UT Security was contacted to report a fight in the Kennedy parking lot. Security spoke to two students and informed them they will be referred to the Conduct Board.

Santa, is that you? — At 11:30 a.m. on Dec. 4, UT Security was contacted to report a possible dorm room break-in in Straz Hall.

He overdosed on holiday cheer. — At 1:17 a.m. on Dec. 5, UT Security was called in reference to a medical emergency in the Vaughn Center. Paramedics arrived on scene and transported the student to the hospital for an evaluation.

A truly cane-ous crime. — At 9:20 p.m. on Dec. 5, UT Security was contacted to report a missing box of candy canes from Stadium Center.

I’s not drunk, ossifer! — At 1:00 a.m. on Dec. 7, UT Security responded to a disturbance in the Vaughn plaza area. Student was intoxicated and will be referred to the Conduct Board.

Hey, I’d be in a hurry to get to Chipotle before it closed, too. — At 9:51 a.m. on Dec. 7, UT Security was contacted to report a motor vehicle accident in the Walker Hall lot. The offending vehicle left the scene.

That would have definitely sped up the cooking process… — At 3:46 a.m. on Dec. 8, UT Security responded to a fire alarm in the Boat House. Upon arrival, Security discovered the alarm was activated by an individual cooking popcorn. Area was checked and cleared by Tampa fire rescue.

He’s gonna find out who’s naughty and nice … and break their legs accordingly. — At 6:45 p.m. on Dec. 9, UT Security received a call regarding a medical emergency in the Vaughn Center. A Tampa police officer arrived and transported student to the hospital to be evaluated.

No, Roy, the set is over there! — At 10:00 p.m. on Jan. 16, UT Security was contacted to report spray paint on the exterior of a warehouse used by the theater department.

The velociraptor is loose! — At 12:35 a.m. on Jan. 17, UT Security was contacted for assistance regarding a golf cart that was driven into a fence during a rain storm.

Really? It was that important to toke up? — At 12:50 a.m. on Jan. 19, UT Security responded to a call of drugs in Stadium Center. Security conducted a room search and found drugs. All students will be referred to the Conduct Board.

Welcome (Back), Freshmen! — At 1:45 a.m. on Jan. 20, UT Security was called regarding alcohol in an Austin Hall room. Upon arrival of Security, all alcohol was removed and destroyed. Students will be referred to the Conduct Board.

Durr, great idea guys! — At 3:35 p.m. on Jan. 21, UT Security responded to a call of drugs in Stadium Center. A room search came up positive for drugs. Students will be referred to the Conduct Board.

Oh, boo frickety-hoo. — At 3:20 p.m. on Jan. 21, UT Security was contacted to report a missing textbook from a room in the Vaughn Center.