At least it wasn’t a Pinto. At 10:10 a.m. on Oct. 9, Security was contacted regarding a shattered rear windshield on N. Brevard St.

Ha! I tore your sign down. Now you have to print another! I’m so funny! At 5:40 a.m. on Oct. 10, Security responded to individuals tearing items from a wall in the hallway of the Vaughn Center. Facilities was contacted for cleanup and repair.

Duh, “person.” At 11:05 a.m. on Oct. 11, Security responded to a call of a fire alarm in the Cass Building. Upon arrival, a person put a metal cup in the microwave that melted and created smoke in the room.

Soccer ball-sized hail, perhaps? At 4:30 p.m. on Oct. 12, Security reported damage to the hood of a vehicle in the Sykes parking lot.

Two-fer. At 6:00 p.m. on Oct. 12, Security was contacted to report two missing bicycles near Austin Hall.

Now how am I supposed to carry my liquor … I mean books, around campus?!? At 7:00 p.m. on Oct. 12, Security was contacted by a student in reference to a missing backpack at Brevard Hall.

Not the best getaway vehicle. At 11:15 p.m. on Oct. 12, Security received a call of a missing golf cart near the Vaughn Center. Later the cart was seen on campus; an individual was arrested and charged with grand theft by the Tampa police department. The individual was trespassed off campus.

Do not pass “Go.” At 2:10 a.m. on Oct. 13, Security was informed by a Tampa police officer of a UT student that was intoxicated and driving at a high rate of speed near N. Brevard St. Student was arrested and transported to jail.

Maybe you didn’t understand the first time… At 1:15 p.m. on Oct. 13, Security contacted Tampa police to trespass an individual. After a written trespass was issued, the individual was spotted on campus again at Plant Hall. Tampa police were contacted and made an arrest for trespassing after the first written trespass.

Nothin’ like warm undies! At 10:25 p.m. on Oct. 13, Security was notified to report several items of clothing stolen from a dryer in Brevard Hall.

Students do stupid things off campus, too. At 2:50 p.m. on Oct. 14, Security was contacted by Clearwater Beach police stating a UT student was discharging a fire extinguisher on the beach.