Somehow, it seems they could be doing something better with their time. At 2:18 p.m. on Sept. 18, UT Security was called to report an injury to a student’s foot.

At least it’s not another golf cart. At 12:00 p.m. on Sept. 19, UT Security was contacted to report a missing bike.

Then … how did they call Security … ? At 12:50 p.m. on Sept. 19, UT Security was called in reference to a missing cell phone.

And what they found, only they will ever know. At 9:30 p.m. on Sept. 19, UT Security responded in reference to vandalism.

At least steal something with an engine. At 2:00 p.m. on Sept. 20, UT Security was contacted to report a missing bicycle.

Good thing there’s this handle here so I can get off the floor … At 11:40 p.m. on Sept. 21, UT Security responded to a fire alarm.

He’s gradually getting away! At 11:49 a.m. on Sept. 22, UT Security was contacted to report a theft of a canoe.

Lock up your bikes already, people! At 4:25 p.m. on Sept. 22, UT Security was contacted in reference to a stolen bicycle.

Help! Another generic medical emergency! At 12:05 p.m. on Sept. 23, UT Security responded to a medical emergency.

Perhaps we planted the seed … At 2:15 a.m. on Sept. 24, UT Security was informed of a possible alcohol poisoning. Two individuals were intoxicated but did not need medical attention.

Fooled you! At 2:12 a.m. on Sept. 24, UT Security responded to a fire alarm. The fire alarm panel indicated an activation of a pulled handle on the third floor.

UT Students: Interesting injuries are easier to poke fun at. At 12:20 a.m. on Sept. 25, UT Security responded to a medical emergency.